Abraham Arose Early

'Now it came to pass after these things that God tested Abraham, 

and said to him, Abraham!" 

And he said, "Here I am." 

He said, "Take now your son, 

your only son Isaac, 

whom you love, 

and go to the land of Moriah, 

and offer him there as a burnt offering 

on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you."

So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey, 

and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son; 

and he split the wood for the burnt offering, 

and arose and went to the place of which God had told him. 

(Genesis 22:1-3)

Yesterday, as I pondered submission, Abraham came to mind. 

This is the most extreme request made of a man.

Consider how he received it:

with swift, silent obedience.

It's stunning.

Earlier in his life, before the birth of this beloved son, 

Abraham had a remarkable conversation with God.

God came to him, to give him the promise of this son, 

who would be born through his barren wife, Sarah.

'And the LORD said, "Shall I hide from Abraham what I am doing,

since Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, 

and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him?

For I have known him, in order that he may command his children 

and his household after him, that they keep the way of the LORD, 

to do righteousness and justice, 

that the LORD may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him."

And the LORD said, "Because the outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is great, 

and because their sin is very grave,

I will go down now and see 

whether they have done altogether according to the outcry against it 

that has come to Me; 

and if not, I will know."'

Abraham's response to this announcement is notable.

First, he doesn't launch into his own words in the presence of the other two who were there.

That's interesting to me.

'Then the men turned away from there and went toward Sodom, 

but Abraham still stood before the LORD.

It appears that when they were alone, he appealed to Him with his concerns.

'And Abraham came near and said, 

"Would You also destroy the righteous with the wicked?

Suppose there were fifty righteous within the city; 

would You also destroy the place and not spare it 

for the fifty righteous that were in it?

Far be it from You to do such a thing as this, 

to slay the righteous with the wicked, 

so that the righteous should be as the wicked; 

far be it from You! 

Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?"

God wants Abraham to know His heart, to know His mind.

He wants His character to be known by His friend -- 

that he might pass that knowledge on to his children.

And He brought this announcement as an opportunity to Abraham.

And Abraham rose to it.

The sheer audacity of his bargaining gives me chills every time I read it.

My heart fills, and I love them both:

the Lord, who lets his friend drive a hard bargain with Him;

and the bold but gentle man who keeps pushing for just ten more.

Read on, and learn His nature for yourself. It's in Genesis 18.

'So the LORD went His way as soon as He had finished speaking with Abraham; 

and Abraham returned to his place.'

This is not a man who withheld his requests from the Lord.

On another occasion, when God came to him 

and told him He was his shield, and his great reward,

Abraham immediately responded with,

"What will You give me since I have no heir?"

This man is an intercessor.

He asks for what he wants, and God has already given him his heart's desire, 

though He made him wait long for it.

And the day comes where God asks of him the unthinkable.

But something has happened to Abraham in his long waiting on God.

In his years of holding onto the promised fruitfulness 

that only grew more barren as the years went on.

Imagine watching your wife wither and wither, and your own vigor drain, 

and believing on year after year in spite of it.

And then, beyond all hope, laughter entered their empty arms.

They saw life come from their good-as-dead bodies.

Joy from ashes.

His name finally had a meaning that wasn't a mockery of his dreams.

And God asked him for it.

"Give Me your son,

your only son.

The one you love."

Give Me back the laughter.

And we don't hear a word of protest from Abraham.

Not one word of intercession.

He just gets up early to obey.

Hebrews tells us he offered Isaac by faith, 

concluding that God was able to raise him up, 

even from the dead.

But I think there was also just a quiet trust he had learned 

in all these years of doing business with God.

He trusted HIM.

So much so, that a request for his life's hope, 

and the crowning joy of his years 

was offered with an open hand.

He doesn't have any hesitation 

in giving all his most precious loves into the hands of the Lord.

He knows God is good.

And he knows God is good for every word that He's said to him.

No wonder God loves him so much.

The Olive May Fail

 “Though the fig tree 

may not blossom,

Nor fruit be on the vines;

Though the labor 

of the olive may fail,

And the fields yield no food;

Though the flock 

may be cut off from the fold,

And there be no herd 

in the stalls--

Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,

I will joy 

in the God of my salvation.

The LORD God 

is my strength;

He will make my feet 

like deer’s feet,

And He will make me walk 

on my high hills.”

A number of years ago, at the beginning of a one year time period that was one of our worst years — a time of severe and long-lasting pain for me that held no end in sight — a physically miserable, emotionally devastating year filled with tests and imaging and surgery and a long recovery, I went to a pastors’ wives retreat. At the retreat, the Lord gave me a song. I had not yet walked through what was coming. And I knew I would be walking through something. 

“The joy of the Lord 

will be my strength

I will not falter, 

I will not faint

He is my Shepherd, 

I am not afraid

The joy of the Lord 

is my strength

The joy of the Lord

The joy of the Lord

The joy of the Lord 

is my strength

The joy of the Lord 

will be my strength

He will uphold me 

all of my days

I am surrounded 

by mercy and grace

And the joy of the Lord 

is my strength

The joy of the Lord

The joy of the Lord

The joy of the Lord 

is my strength

The joy of the Lord 

will be my strength

And I will not waiver, 

walking by faith

He will be strong 

to deliver me safe

And the joy of the Lord 

is my strength

The joy of the Lord

The joy of the Lord

The joy of the Lord 

is my strength”

You can be suffering pain, uncertainty, lack of resources, loss of relationships, and so many other miseries AND still be surrounded by His mercy and grace. I did not know if I would physically survive that year. And some days I turned my face to the wall and just laid there, heart open in wordless pain to the Lord. I fretted that my children would be motherless, and my husband widowed. And then I trusted them to Him who loves them better than me. I sat in a chair much of that year. 

And the Lord sustained me. He delivered me. He walked the valley with me, and brought me out again. 

You might think I don’t like hearing that song anymore. But you’d be wrong. 

When I hear it, and when I sing it, I remember how the Lord helped me endure when I couldn’t endure. How He gave me courage and taught me to trust Him when my prayers felt like they fell to the floor. How it isn’t abundant circumstances that give us abundant life. 

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

A Negative Confession

"And David said in his heart, 
'Now I shall perish someday by the hand of Saul. 
There is nothing better for me 
than that I should speedily escape to the land of the Philistines...'"

I love the substance and truth of the Word.
Scriptural saints are human men and women,
with passions like ours, and debilitating fears, and sunken spirits
that need Him to breathe life into them.
Here, David, the prophet of the Lord, the future king of Israel,
the man after God's own heart
falls into fear that drives him for awhile.
He forgets what God has said of him,
and believes his present is all there is,
and the only escape is to run to the enemy.
And, even more horribly (in some circles),
he voices his fear.
He speaks out his 'negative confession',
'speaks his own death',
'utters a curse'.
Yet God's purpose for him will prevail.

Though his words are faithless, and hopeless, and expectant of the worst,
David never does perish at the hand of Saul.
And there IS better for him in his future
than this awful episode in the land of the Philistines.

There are others, you know.
Abraham.
"And Abraham said, 
'Because I thought, surely the fear of God is not in this place; 
and they will kill me on account of my wife.'" 

Jacob.
"And Jacob their father said to them, 
'You have bereaved me:
 Joseph is no more, 
Simeon is no more, 
and you want to take Benjamin. 
All these things are against me.'"

Hagar.
"Then she went and sat down across from him at a distance of about a bowshot;
 for she said to herself, 'Let me not see the death of the boy.' 
So she sat opposite him, and lifted her voice and wept."

In fact, so many come to mind, I couldn't list them all.
Esther. Elijah. Isaac.
Paul mentions despairing even of life because of the hardships they had suffered.

There is a false doctrine that goes around that 'speaking curses'
and negatively confessing your fears brings them to pass.
But Proverbs 26:2 says,
"Like a flitting sparrow, like a flying swallow, 
so a curse without cause shall not alight."
And in Numbers 22, an effort is made to curse Israel and God won't let it be.
"Thou shalt not curse the people: for they are blessed."

Our own fears and failures may sidetrack us,
but the Lord's purposes stand in our lives.
And no one can curse whom He has not cursed.

Rear Guard

Our house passed out of our ownership today.
Our tenants moved out fourteen months ago,
and we've been paying the mortgage
and the rent where we live now
without the help of an income that just covered the mortgage
of the house left behind coming in.
We did not see any possibility of doing that,
and yet, by the Lord's mercy, we did.
And we ate, too.

Years ago, the Lord spoke a promise to us.
He directed our steps with it:
halting us when we were ready to go too fast,
and sending us forward
when we didn't see how we'd guard ourselves from behind.
He did for us as He promised,
and we are humbled by His care.
The mortgage debt is gone and the cost of our cross-country move.

While we were there, we prayed about how to impact the community for good.
But it felt like that was a loss when we moved away.
The family that bought the house from us are involved in the community,
in ways that build it up.
It's the first home they've ever owned,
and its age and history (read: constant need of upkeep because she is so old)
were part of the draw of that house to them.
I am so happy to have sold it
to people who will love it,
and who will be enabled to deepen their own roots
in a community they have already been investing in.

And yet, of course, I feel like crying.
For the first time in many years, we don't own a home.
And the bookshelves my daddy built me are someone else's now.
My books fill IKEA shelves, which are perfectly adequate,
but not labors of love.
I long for a place of our own.
A quiet sanctuary.
My husband reminds me of another promise:
'Everyone who has left houses
or brothers or sisters
or father or mother
or children or lands
for My name's sake,
will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.'

You are our Home, Lord.
Thank You for covering us.

It Wasn't You

"So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: 
and He hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, 
and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt."
Genesis 45:8

We forget that God can and will use the sinful actions and animosity of rivals
to further His plan in our lives.
That the angry brother, driven by jealousy,
can still be subject to God's control.
It doesn't excuse the sin to acknowledge the sovereignty.
God moves even through conflict and unhappiness and dysfunctional families.
In every one of the families of the patriarchs, there are issues.
The extra women. Hagar. Zilpah. Bilhah.
There are brothers at war.
Ishmael against Isaac. Esau against Jacob.
The sons of the handmaids against Joseph.

There are favorites played, between wives and between sons.
Marital strife -- even between Isaac and Rebekah,
who had no extras in their marriage.
But the children caused conflict between them.
Years of unsettled wandering and infertility.

And a Promise that did not fail.
A future and a hope that is still working in their children.
Being named the friend of God.  
Governed by God.  
Laughter.  
The father of faith.
The one the nation is named for.

"It was not you who sent me here," Abraham's great-grandson said.
"It was God."

Perhaps he had taken to heart
how God had moved and worked in his great-grandfather's family.
His grandfather's family.
His father's family.
He had moved them through conflict and animosity --
sometimes earned, and sometimes unmerited.
But always directed.

The conniving father-in-law.
The disdainful household help.
The jealous step-brother.
The fighting wives.
The cheating employer.
The murderous brothers.
All of them had been ultimately fitted into the intended will of God
and the Promise He kept promising them.

"And we know that to them that love God 
all things work together for good, 
even to them that are called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28

Did You Forget?

I went to a ladies' retreat this weekend.
I think it has been five years since I last went to one.
Lydia came with me and together
we sat behind a screen set up for nursing mothers,
and I listened as carefully as I could between nursing and changing
and shushing any whimpers that started up.

I am normally a note taker,
and that helps me to process and retain the teaching that I hear.
When my arms are full of babies and their belongings, it's all I can do to listen.

The speaker paused fairly early into her first session
and asked for a verse from the audience.
Someone said a reference I recognized
from close enough to me that I could hear it plainly.

The speaker asked her to say the verse.
The familiar words came in like an old friend.
I know these words.
The ones He spoke to me through three different people in the same week
nearly two dozen years ago.

The speaker's voice smiled,
and later on in the teaching, she had more things to say about that same verse.
When I had a moment, I wrote the words down again to remind myself;
once on the provided note paper,
and once on a tiny little card I could put in my pocket.

I left the retreat earlier than the other ladies,
so I could help my husband get the kids to church this morning.
After church, I walked into my husband's office and stood next to his desk,
looking at the papers and books he had there.
I saw a piece of paper and picked it up.
It was a tattered index card, and I recognized my own handwriting:
"Do not fear, for I am with you; 
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. 
I will strengthen you, 
surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
~ Isaiah 41:10

Tell Every Trembler

"God has been faithful to you.
Tell it to your children. 
Tell them God will save sinners when they come to Him, 
for He saved you... 
Tell them He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins 
if we confess them to Him, 
and to save us from all unrighteousness, 
for He forgave you. 
Tell every trembler you meet with 
that Jesus will in no wise cast out any that come to Him.
Tell all seekers that if they seek, they will find, 
and that to everyone who knocks, 
the door of mercy will be opened. 
Tell the most despondent and despairing 
that Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, 
even the very chief..."
(C.H. Spurgeon, The Practice of Praise)

Sometimes the trembler I meet with is the one in my mirror.

From Father to Father

"And Abram fell on his face: and God talked with him, saying, 
'As for Me, behold, My covenant is with thee, 
and thou shalt be a father of many nations. 
Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, 
but thy name shall be Abraham; 
for a father of many nations have I made thee. 
And I will make thee exceedingly fruitful, 
and I will make nations of thee; 
and kings shall proceed from thee...'"
~Genesis 17:3-6

Ninety-nine years old, and called by the same name all his life.
Exalted father.
Who names their baby that?
For ninety-nine years, he has been introduced as a father.
How many children do you have, exalted father?

I read a book to my children recently
which takes place in the Middle East,
and the father of sons bears his name proudly.
But the father of daughters is a bit of a loser.
Everyone pities him at his introduction.
Ah, yes.
You are the one who sires nothing but girls.
How sad.

But here is Abram, exalted father of no one.
And the very name he has worn all these years,
given to him in hope, I am sure,
has mocked him.
Your marriage is fruitless.
Your riches will pass out of your house.
You are not a father.
The goal of his life was given to him at his birth,
and all his work had come to nothing.
He had a wife legendary for her beauty,
and barren as the desert.

God changed his name, but not as we might have.
He exalted him from a father to the father of a multitude.
And Sarai's name -- changed, too.
She went from my princess to princess.
In both cases, He confirmed their identity,
but seemed to make it His own work.
Not the inheritance of their father,
but the certain work of God.

A 100% Return

His uncle offered him a deal:

lend him $10 for the night,

and he'd give him $20 in the morning.

A 100% return.

He had already offered the deal to my suspicious daughter.

She had refused to take it.

She was not going to be taken in by a sweet-seeming deal.

"I don't know him enough to trust him," she told me.

But Isaiah is more inclined to take a risk,

and more willing to take the word of someone he trusts.

"If he is honest in what he is offering,

and he can be trusted to keep his word,

that's too good a deal to pass up," I advised.

He thought about it for a minute,

and then went and got his money and handed a ten to his uncle.

And then everyone waited to see:

would he really double his money?

To his uncle's credit, he kept his word.

He had told him, "I am a Christian, and I am not lying."

In fact, he made Isaiah sit down and write a contract for him to sign,

signed it, and then paid him back about twelve hours early.

He told him, "Sometimes being willing to take a risk pays off."

Trusting the One who always speaks truth

is a worthwhile investment.

Normally, I would advise my son against these kind of deals.

Just trusting someone's word is pretty risky

in these days of phishing scams and banking scandals.

But I believed his uncle would follow through,

and I thought perhaps it would be something he pondered in the future.

And maybe he would remember it,

and take a step of faith one day,

trusting the word of Him who promised.

"...God, more abundantly willing to shew to the heirs of the promise 

the immutability of his counsel, did interpose by an oath,
that through two immutable things, 

in which it is impossible for God to lie, 

a strong comfort we may have 

who did flee for refuge to lay hold on the hope set before us, 

which we have, as an anchor of the soul, 

both sure and steadfast, and entering into that within the veil..."

In The Midst and During

I was reading last night from Psalm 138:

In the day when I cried out, You answered me,
and made me bold with strength in my soul...
Though the Lord is on high, yet He regards the lowly;
but the proud He knows from afar.
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, 
You will revive me;
You will stretch out Your hand
against the wrath of my enemies,
and Your right hand will save me.
The Lord will perfect that which concerns me;
Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever;
do not forsake the works of Your hands.

And then this morning, I was reading from 2 Chronicles 15.
These are the words of Azariah;
it says the Spirit of God came upon him,
and he gave this message to King Asa:

"The Lord will stay with you, as long as you stay with Him.
Whenever you seek Him, you will find Him.
But if you abandon Him, He will abandon you.
For a long time, Israel was without the true God,
without a priest to teach them,
and without the Law to instruct them.
But whenever they were in trouble 
and turned to the Lord, the God of Israel,
and sought Him out, they found Him.
During those dark times, it was not safe to travel.
Problems troubled the people of every land.
Nation fought against nation, and city against city,
for God was troubling them with every kind of problem.
But as for you, be strong and courageous,
for your work will be rewarded." 

Though I walk in the midst of trouble...
I don't want to walk in the midst of trouble.
I don't want to live in dark times, unsafe times, wrathful times.
Don't we all just want to live quiet and peaceful lives?
But though we walk in the midst of trouble,
He will revive us.
He will stretch out His hand against the wrath of our enemies and save us.

Revive. Do you know what it means?
To live again. To return to life.
Let's set our faces toward His salvation:
to live again, to see His justice though we walk in the midst of trouble.
Jesus is the salvation of His right hand.
Jesus is the resurrection and the life.
He is our future and our hope, though trouble is our present.
Though the wrath of the enemy is our present lot,
He will perfect that which concerns us,
and He will not forsake the works of His hands.

For All The Grace I Have Not Tasted Yet

My sister and I were praying together today,
and as she prayed, she was thanking the Lord for hard things:
for awkward times, and heartaches.
She thanked Him because those hurts impart compassion.
They limit judgment, and increase care.
I was already thinking about sharing this poem I read this morning,
but her prayer tied in with the part of this poem that most spoke to me.
Maybe it will also speak to you:

My heart is resting, O my God,
I will give thanks and sing;
My heart is at the secret source 
Of every precious thing.
Now the frail vessel Thou hast made 
No hand but Thine shall fill;
For the waters of the earth have failed,
And I am thirsty still.

I thirst for springs of heavenly life,
And here all day they rise;
I seek the treasure of Thy love,
And close at hand it lies.
And a new song is in my mouth
To long-loved music set:
"Glory to Thee for all the grace
I have not tasted yet;

"Glory to Thee for strength withheld,
For want and weakness known;
And the fear that sends me to Thy breast
For what is most my own."
I have a heritage of joy
That yet I must not see;
But the hand that bled to make it mine
Is keeping it for me.

My heart is resting, O my God,
My heart is in Thy care;
I hear the voice of joy and health
Resounding everywhere.
"Thou art my portion," saith my soul,
Ten thousand voices say,
And the music of their glad Amen
Will never die away.
~Anne Laetitia Waring

For the grace I have not tasted;
for strength withheld;
for intimate acquaintance with want, and with weakness;
and for fears that drive me to You:
Thank You.
Wow.
Yeah.

Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now I keep Thy word.
Thou art good, and doest good; teach me Thy statutes.
I know, O LORD, that Thy judgments are right, 
and that Thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me.
Let, I pray Thee, Thy merciful kindness be for my comfort, 
according to Thy word to Thy servant. 
Let Thy tender mercies come to me, that I may live... 
~ From Psalm 119:67-77

Engineering Peace

My ten-year-old son was telling me his dreams and plans today.
He would like to be a military engineer, he said.
He and his cousin have been planning a project for the military.
They want to engineer a flower bomb.
"What is a flower bomb?"
"Instead of exploding like a regular bomb,
a flower bomb will explode with seeds of flowers.
We want to make it as big as a hydrogen bomb,
but it will plant flowers."

And He shall judge among the nations, 
and shall rebuke many people; 
and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, 
and their spears into pruning-hooks. 
Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, 
neither shall they learn war any more.
Isaiah 2:4

Perhaps my son has a future career with the Lord of Hosts,
beating atomic bombs into flower bombs.
Even so, come, Lord Jesus.

Thee

'“Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands.”
...What can be more astounding than the unfounded doubts and fears of God’s favoured people?
“How can I have forgotten thee, when I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands? 
How darest thou doubt my constant remembrance, 
when the memorial is set upon my very flesh?” 
O unbelief, how strange a marvel thou art!
We know not which most to wonder at,
the faithfulness of God or the unbelief of his people.

He keeps his promise a thousand times, and yet the next trial makes us doubt him.
He never faileth; he is never a dry well;
he is never as a setting sun, a passing meteor, or a melting vapour;
and yet we are as continually vexed with anxieties,
molested with suspicions, and disturbed with fears, as if our God were the mirage of the desert.
“Behold,” is a word intended to excite admiration.
Here, indeed, we have a theme for marvelling.
Heaven and earth may well be astonished that rebels should obtain so great a nearness
to the heart of infinite love as to be written upon the palms of his hands.

“I have graven thee.”
It does not say, “Thy name.”
The name is there, but that is not all: “I have graven thee.”
See the fulness of this!
I have graven thy person, thine image, thy case, 
thy circumstances, thy sins, thy temptations, 
thy weaknesses, thy wants, thy works; 
I have graven thee, everything about thee, all that concerns thee; 
I have put thee altogether there. 
Wilt thou ever say again that thy God hath forsaken thee
when he has graven thee upon his own palms?'
~From Morning and Evening, C.H. Spurgeon

Light Walks With Me

'Be content with such things as you have.
For He Himself has said, 
"I will never leave you nor forsake you."
So we may boldly say,
"The Lord is my helper; I will not fear..."
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.'
~Hebrews 13:5-8

With such things as I have?
Wow. So often those things are not things that leave me feeling content.
Have you just had distressing, devastating news?
Be content with that?
With pain? With depression?
With a diagnosis of death?
Or a future expectation of loss?

I was speaking with my children tonight
about living as children of light, here -- in the dark.
That passage gives a reason for our contentment.
We have His promise!
Here, in the dark, He will not leave me alone.
Here, in the night, the Dayspring from on high dwells with me.
The Lamp to my feet, and the Light to my path walks with me-- the Word made flesh.

"I will never leave you, nor forsake you," He said.
"I am your God and will take care of you 
until you are old and your hair is gray. 
I made you and will care for you; 
I will give you help..."
(Isaiah 46:4)

The Lord is my helper; I will not fear.
He has helped me.
He does help me.
He will help me.

For thou wilt light my lamp: 
Jehovah my God will lighten my darkness.
And He does not change.

You Again?

Guess who showed up this morning while I read my Bible?

"Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord?
Who may  stand in His holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who has not lifted up his soul to an idol,
nor sworn deceitfully.
He shall receive blessing from the Lord,
and righteousness from the God of his salvation.
This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him,
who seek Your face.
Selah."
~Psalm 24:3-6

I wonder why David put him in there?
He gets the whole generation of God-seekers named after him.
Think about that.
Selah.

Not With Haste

"For ye shall not go out with haste, nor go by flight:
for the Lord will go before you
and the God of Israel will be your rear guard."
~Isaiah 52:12

I have been asked what the verse was. That's it.
The Lord brought it to our attention a number of times.
In fact, one day, I sat down next to a lady who was talking to someone else
about what the Lord had been using in her life to give her family direction,
and she began quoting this same verse.
I smiled, because I knew He sat me next to her just to hear her tell the story.

Sometimes the enemy tries to drive you.
To make you flee. 
But the Lord wants you to wait.
To trust Him.
To let Him lead, so you can follow,
and He will be your rear guard.

I think about Elijah and the dwindling brook.
How he waited until the Lord told him where to go.
He did not flee, though the brook ran dry.
He followed.
Water from the Rock in a rainless desert.
Manna laid down on the dew of heaven where no grain grows.

Considering Lilies

My husband and I are waiting for a go-ahead.
Some arbitrary person somewhere has our present and our future in their hands,
and it's making me weary waiting for them.
I'm tired.
My husband is tired.
My children are tired.
We want to be a full time family again.
We hate saying goodbye to each other every week.
I hate being a single mother.
Two are better than one.
This morning, I was feeling morose as I prepared for one more goodbye.
I looked out the window, and my eyes fell on the explosion of lilies in bloom right now.
One hundred and eighty degrees of them from where I am sitting.

Lilies.
I cannot tell you how many times I have been comforted
because of the beautiful, practical, poetic ways the Lord has communicated to us in His word.
Consider the lilies of the field.
They don't labor.
They don't spin.
And the Lord clothes them more beautifully than the richest king who ever lived.
Consider the birds of the air.
They do not build barns to store their food supply.
But Your Father feeds them.
You are of more value to Him than these.
Trust Me.

Sons of Your Father

Do you ever wonder about whether you are growing as you should?
I have a tendency to think evangelism is the yardstick to measure by.
(Probably as a result of faulty something.)
I was thinking about it this morning -- asking the Lord about fruit.
Do I have any?
Am I healthy?

My mind drifted here:

'Love your enemies, 
bless those who curse you, 
do good to those who hate you, 
and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 
that you may be sons of your Father in heaven...'

'...And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors...
For if you forgive men their trespasses, 
your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men their trespasses,
neither will your Father forgive your trespasses...'

'Now the fruit of the Spirit is
love,
joy,
peace,
longsuffering,
kindness,
goodness,
faithfulness,
gentleness,
self-control.'
The mark of sonship is love.

Will I exact revenge on my persecutors?
Will I demand payment of all I am owed by trespassers?
Can I pray for those who abuse me?

Jesus, hanging in agony on the cross,
used His breath to pray, "Father, forgive them."
He pitied His tormentors.

There is a precious promise in there.
If I forgive, He'll forgive me, too.
Because I am a debtor.
I have offended.
I have stepped on people.
I have looked past their pain and blamed them for their grimace.
I have forgotten them when I should have remembered.
I have been calloused when I should have been crying.
I have pointed my finger when I should have applied salve.
And I can't pay it back.

But I can forgive when it's done to me.

At This Time

"The God of glory appeared to our father Abraham and said to him,
'Get out of your country and from your relatives,
and come to a land that I will show you.'
He moved to this land and God gave him no inheritance in it,
not even enough to set his foot on.
But even when Abraham had no child,
He promised to give it to him for a possession,
and to his descendants after him.
So Jacob went down to Egypt; and he died, he and all our fathers.
But when the time of the promise drew near which God had sworn to Abraham,
the people grew and multiplied in Egypt
till another king arose who did not know Joseph.
This man dealt treacherously with our people,
and oppressed our forefathers,
making them expose their babies, so that they might not live.
At this time Moses was born, and was well-pleasing to God."

~ From Acts 7

God asked Abraham: 'Come, follow Me.' And Abraham followed. A promise was given to Abraham, which Abraham believed (although at the time of the promise, Abraham did not even possess the means to receive the promise). He received no inheritance. Abraham's grandchildren and great-grandchildren had to flee their 'possession', which as yet was still not theirs, in order to get enough food to eat. They entered Egypt as guests, and stayed there over four hundred years.

But a king arose without any respect for Joseph. He did not know him. And Israel suffered. If I had been among them in these days, I would have brooded over the national decline. The loss of civil liberties. The horrible oppression. Surely God had forgotten them: it can't be His will that they be oppressed.

At this time Moses was born. The time of decline. The time of misery. The time of babies left to die. The time of beatings and forced labor. Do you ever wish you were born for another time? I do. Constantly. I don't like this time in history. I long for quietness and peace and security.

But it says that Moses was well-pleasing to God at this time. In this hour of treacherous oppression.

And before that, it said:
"When the time of the promise drew near
a king arose who did not know Joseph."

I am reminded of something Jesus said.
He described a whole lot of terror coming upon the world.
But then to His disciples He said,
"When you see all these things beginning, look up.
Your redemption draws near."

Look up.
Here at this time -- the time in which you are born, please Him well.
At this time.
In this treacherous hour.
The time of the promise draws near.

And the Hills Disappear

"For the mountains may move
and the hills disappear,
but even then
My faithful love for you will remain.
My covenant of blessing will never be broken,"
says the Lord, who has mercy on you.

~Isaiah 54:10