Whole Offerings

I stayed with my kids at my mom's house while my husband and my dad did an out-of-town job. It also happened to be the day we both received our last phone call from my baby sister (who is pregnant) before she left the country with her husband to be a missionary in a far-off land.  It was kind of an emotional day.

My mom had one last text, called and left one more voice message to say, "I love you," and sat down at the piano to cry and sing.

Hear my cry, O God
Attend unto my prayer
From the ends of the earth
Do I cry unto Thee
And when my heart is overwhelmed
Lead me to the Rock
That is higher than I
That is higher than I

I cried and worked in the kitchen. We've done this before. I am the oldest in a large family. The sister right behind me, a number of years ago, left pregnant with her husband for a far off land. We all waited at the airport with them, tears streaming down our faces. An observer of our tears chided us for them. Not feeling the loss himself, he could not comprehend our grief. We have seen my younger brother off to war. And another younger brother leave for another coast, not knowing when we would be together again. Of course, 'dangerous' places are harder to bear. But every loss hurts.

My children were concerned and confused at the tears, and came around asking questions. I listened while my mom explained her singing and her crying to the kids. She led them through a number of David's prayers to the Lord for help to show them what she does when she is overwhelmed.

But I was thinking of another of the things David said:

"I will not offer to the Lord whole offerings that have cost me nothing."