Do not fear: this was not the unsupervised chopper.
A split pea soup from yesterday's ham with carrots peeled by my eager son, and chopped with celery without supervision, and joyously stirred into the soup. Onions chopped in 2.5 seconds in the food processor, without leaving their scent all over my hands. Sourdough rolls are baking. They set the table, and stirred the soup, and cleared out the dish drainer, and we're headed toward domestic bliss.