First, Middle, Last

 
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
Genesis 1:1

It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.
Psalm 118:8

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen. 
Revelation 22:21

A few weeks ago in church I was reminded
that the very last word of the entire Bible is:
"The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all."
It set me to thinking about how it began,
and the central verse of the whole Bible.
His mercy endures forever.
Begun as His creation;
we trust Him, and not ourselves;
and His grace is with us.
Amen.

A Startling Tithe

"Thou shalt surely tithe all the increase of thy seed, 
that which cometh forth from the field year by year. 
And thou shalt eat before Jehovah thy God, 
in the place which he shall choose, to cause his name to dwell there, 
the tithe of thy grain, of thy new wine, and of thine oil, 
and the firstlings of thy herd and of thy flock; 
that thou mayest learn to fear Jehovah thy God always. 
And if the way be too long for thee, so that thou art not able to carry it, 
because the place is too far from thee, 
which Jehovah thy God shall choose, to set his name there, 
when Jehovah thy God shall bless thee; 
then shalt thou turn it into money, 
and bind up the money in thy hand, 
and shalt go unto the place which Jehovah thy God shall choose: 
and thou shalt bestow the money for whatsoever thy soul desireth, 
for oxen, or for sheep, or for wine, or for strong drink, 
or for whatsoever thy soul asketh of thee; 
and thou shalt eat there before Jehovah thy God, 
and thou shalt rejoice, thou and thy household."
Deuteronomy 14:22-26

This passage startles me. There is more to be startled by than even this, if you read the chapters around this one.

A tithe is a tenth. The Lord said the tithe was His -- and then told them to eat it. Told them to celebrate. To rejoice. To honor Him in this feasting and abundance and luxuriousness of food. 'And if the journey to where I want to fellowship with you is too long to haul all that cargo, sell it and buy whatever you want to eat with Me.' He said this would teach them to always revere Him.

I have always thought of a tithe as the first tenth of our increase, given completely out of our control, and of which we receive no part. It startles me that the Lord says, 'This is Mine -- come eat it in front of Me.' And the Sabbath is like it. 'This is My day. Rest. Stop your working and your striving and your hoarding, and worship.'

And the incredible freedom He gave in choosing the ingredients. Dare I even notice it? Nothing unclean, but whatever your soul craves. Eat it before the Lord -- in His presence, with His blessing.

How He Fasted

"And Jesus called unto him his disciples, 
and said, I have compassion on the multitude, 
because they continue with me now three days and have nothing to eat: 
and I would not send them away fasting, lest haply they faint on the way. 
And the disciples say unto him, 
Whence should we have so many loaves in a desert place 
as to fill so great a multitude? 
And Jesus said unto them, How many loaves have ye? 
And they said, Seven, and a few small fishes. 
And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the ground; 
and he took the seven loaves and the fishes; 
and he gave thanks and brake, and gave to the disciples, 
and the disciples to the multitudes. 
And they all ate, and were filled: 
and they took up that which remained over of the broken pieces, 
seven baskets full."
Matthew 15:32-37

"In the meanwhile the disciples prayed him, saying, Rabbi, eat. 
But he said unto them, I have meat to eat that ye know not. 
The disciples therefore said one to another, 
Hath any man brought him aught to eat? 
Jesus saith unto them, 
My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, 
and to accomplish his work."
John 4:31-34
 He went on to describe the harvesting of food
(for which men spend all their labor).
He had already compared the work He had been about as food for Himself.
I think He was letting them know there was plenty to go around.

"Is such the fast that I have chosen? The day for a man to afflict his soul? 
Is it to bow down his head as a rush, 
and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? 
Wilt thou call this a fast, and an acceptable day to Jehovah? 
Is not this the fast that I have chosen: to loose the bonds of wickedness, 
to undo the bands of the yoke, 
and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke? 
Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, 
and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? 
When thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; 
and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?"
Isaiah 58:5-7

Jesus, God's beloved Son, in Whom He is well-pleased:
loosing the bonds of our wickedness,
undoing the bands of our yokes,
letting the oppressed go free,
dealing His bread to the hungry,
bringing the poor and cast out to His house,
covering our nakedness in His righteousness,
and not hiding Himself from His fellow men.
He looked for hurting people --
damaged demon-possessed wretches
and used-up women in rejected towns
and men with withered hands hidden in their sleeves --
and He found them,
having gone out of His way to do it,
and He made them whole.
He took His riches, His abundance, His prosperity,
and He made it ours at His expense.

How He Prayed

 
"And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. 
For they love to pray standing in the synagogues 
and in the corners of the streets, 
so that they may be seen by men. 
Truly I say to you, They have their reward. 
But you, when you pray, enter into your room. 
And shutting your door, pray to your Father in secret; 
and your Father who sees in secret shall reward you openly."
Matthew 6:5,6

After sending the people away, he went up a hill by himself to pray. 
When evening came, Jesus was there alone... 
Matthew 14:23

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, 
and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." 
He took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee. 
Grief and anguish came over him, and he said to them, 
"The sorrow in my heart is so great that it almost crushes me. 
Stay here and keep watch with me." 
He went a little farther on, 
threw himself face downward on the ground, and prayed, 
"My Father, if it is possible, take this cup of suffering from me! 
Yet not what I want, but what you want."
Matthew 26:36-39

Jesus had no door to shut.
And because of it, we have the benefit of what the disciples saw and heard.
Through their eyes, we see Him on His face,
in dread of what He would walk through,
choosing to honor His Father though it cost Him dearly.
We see His secret communion, His private devotion.
His tender intercession for us.
Thank You, Jesus.

Secret Worship

The Sermon on the Mount.
What is it?
I think for many years, I saw it as a list of impossible standards.
A mish-mash of unrelated things I am doing wrong.
Somehow it never seemed connected
to the other things Jesus said and did in the gospels.
I have sometimes avoided reading it,
because it seemed so hard for me to understand.
But a week ago, as I read through it,
themes grew clear I had not seen before.

In chapter 6:
Show mercy secretly.
God sees you.
Pray secretly.
God sees you.
Fast secretly.
God sees you.

Store up treasure in heaven.
Our Father, who art in heaven.
"Your Father who is in the secret place; 
and Your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly."

He continually warns us not to be pretenders.
You might wonder where He said that.
He used a word we immediately distance from ourselves.
Hypocrites.
My Bible had 'pretenders' in the margin notes.
You know -- public worshipers. 

About that treasure.
You know: those gold coins you invest in
and then hide somewhere where no one can find them but you.
The sure thing that can withstand the economic crash when it comes.
The secret hoard.
The private resource.
The place your heart worships,
because it's where your heart stays always.
So have a secret trust.
Have a secret worship.
Let it be in Him. 

I flipped back into chapter 5.
He spoke about murder, the public display of the secret hatred.
Adultery, the public display of secret lust. 
Going to present your (public) gift to God
while your brother has something (secret) against you.
Drop the gift: go be reconciled.
Let your gift be given from a secret worship.

About honest words which need no oath.
Loving and praying for an enemy.
This is how our Father is: honest; pure in heart; secretly loving.
Forgiving from the heart.

Worship of the Father is not a display.
It's a secret adoration that calls forth love.
That compels me to forgive when I am wronged.
To have a true heart toward my husband.
To reconcile with my brother.
To withhold judgment and let it rest with Him.
To love those who definitively do not love me.

And I found myself mentally standing in the place of the Samaritan woman.
"The woman said to Him, 'Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet.
Our fathers worshiped in this mountain,
and you say that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship.'
Jesus said to her, 'Woman, believe Me, the hour is coming
when you shall neither worship the Father in this mountain
nor yet at Jerusalem. ...The hour is coming, and now is,
when the true worshipers shall worship the Father in spirit and truth,
for the Father seeks such to worship Him.
God is a spirit, and they who worship Him
must worship in spirit and in truth.'"

In spirit and in truth.
In secret in my heart.
Not from a prominent place for the observation of men,
but from a secret devotion for the eyes of the Lord.

Is it possible that when He says in chapter 7,
"Do not give what is holy to the dogs;
nor cast your pearls before swine,"
He is referring to all these things
which the love of God ought to inspire in us
being done as a display for the praise of men?
It's a prostitution of worship --
a leaving of our first love.

Breathe and Worship to This

I'm satisfied by Your love so completely.
How can I thirst for the praises of men?
There's nothing I need that You haven't provided,
and no one can offer me peace like You can.

Jesus, You're more than enough,
sufficient for me:
all I have needed You've given for free.
Your love is enough,
don't need man's applause,
I know what I'm worth: I remember the cross.

I'm sustained, O Lord:
when Your Light surrounds me the world fades away.
I'm sustained, O Lord:
my heart knows Your love like it flows through my veins.
Such peace and contentment I've found in Your grace:
I can't think why I ever complained.
You love me: what more could I want?
I am sustained.

My husband was playing this song tonight,
and as it always does, it soothed my soul.
Unfortunately, a Google search didn't enlighten me on its authorship.
If you know who wrote it, please let me know.

You can listen to it here.

Redeeming Time

Tonight my children were finishing dinner, but I was already done.
It meant I had to wait.
I could start those dishes, though.
Maybe I could finish before they were done.
I began thinking about that phrase 'redeeming the time'.
It's always been a little poetic sounding to me.
Sort of mysterious.
How do I do it?

Is it simply using the dead spaces to get something worthwhile done?
While I am waiting for them to finish chewing, washing a plate or two?
When I had a slower internet connection,
I spent a lot of time waiting for pages to load.
So I kept my knitting or a book with me.
I could knit one sock needle's worth of stitches minimum
at every slow loading page.
You can get a lot of sock knitting done twelve stitches at a time.
Sometimes I left it on the front seat of my car,
and when I got stuck at the State Street light (the longest one in town),
I enjoyed every waiting second of it.
I found myself looking forward to waiting.
Waiting for the doctor to call me in to see him?
Knit.
Being a passenger in a car trip to North Carolina?
I can knit a whole sock there, and a whole sock back.
It's meditative.

Is it as simple as that, Lord?
Occupying until You come?
Doing good with hands that have nothing to do for a bit?
In a worthless time, do something worthy.
My Grandma could not sit down to visit or watch a movie with us
without gathering her crocheting first, so her hands were busy.
You might as well do somethin' while you're doin' nothin'.

Must you spend a half hour scrubbing dishes?
Put a missionary's card up where you'll see it,
and you can pray for them while you work.
Two minutes brushing your teeth day and night?
A scripture to meditate on taped to the mirror redeems time.
My sister always puts a teaching on to listen to as she prepares dinner.
Are you often trapped in a chair, nursing a baby?
Maybe you can read three sentences of the scripture
which you've been struggling to fit in.
If not, feeding His lambs is redemptive in itself, anyway.

Is this a season of grief for you?
Someone else is grieving, too.
Who will pray with more empathy than you will for them?

Working Myself Out of a Job

Do not fear: this was not the unsupervised chopper.

A split pea soup from yesterday's ham
with carrots peeled by my eager son,
and chopped with celery without supervision,
and joyously stirred into the soup.
Onions chopped in 2.5 seconds in the food processor,
without leaving their scent all over my hands.
Sourdough rolls are baking.
They set the table, and stirred the soup,
and cleared out the dish drainer,
and we're headed toward domestic bliss.

Into the Ultraviolet

What you see is what you get.
Seeing is believing.
Is it?

I have been reading a book called
The Mysteries and Marvels of Science with my children.
Today we read about light and color:

"Some animals can see colors that can't be seen by humans. 
Many insects, birds, fish and reptiles 
can see beyond the violet end of the visible spectrum, into the ultraviolet. 
Many fruits that look dark to us, such as plums, 
look bright and inviting in UV, 
so birds and insects are attracted to them 
among the much darker looking leaves."

This was accompanied by two photographs,
one of solid yellow silverweed flowers with no patterns or markings,
as the flower is perceived by the human eye,
and the other of the exact same flowers
photographed with a UV lens,
which revealed it to have vivid red center patterns
with brilliant blue marks amid a white edging.
You can watch a short video about the UV vision of bees here.

So, which view is reality?
I read this little blip and stared at these photographs,
and thought about things I can't see.
My spectrum is too short to see glory.
I see boring blah when I am looking right at brilliance.
I see coming doom when I should see chariots of fire.
I see people's failures when God sees their faith.
Is this why He tells me I must walk by faith, and not by sight?

Is this why He is Judge, and not myself?
"My friends, as believers in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, 
you must never treat people in different ways 
according to their outward appearance."

Perhaps the dull daisy growing with the grass is more colorful
than the roses showcased under the arbor.

"When the LORD spoke to you from the fire on Mount Sinai, 
you did not see any form. 
For your own good, then, 
make certain that you do not sin 
by making for yourselves an idol in any form at all---
whether man or woman, animal or bird, reptile or fish."

"No man hath seen God at any time; 
the only begotten Son, who is in the bosom of the Father, 
He hath declared Him."

'Jesus answered, "For a long time I have been with you all; 
yet you do not know me, Philip? 
Whoever has seen Me has seen the Father. 
Why, then, do you say, 'Show us the Father'?"'

He is the lens through which I see the Unseen --
because my eyes can't see past violet.
He is my vision, my translation, my Light.

And Hurting the Heart

 
Last night, shortly after dinner, our youngest ran screaming to us.
He said he had hit his head, and I tried to calm him down enough
to figure out what was wrong with him.
His screaming seemed a little out of proportion to a bumped head.
I felt around on his head and my hand came away bloody.
Parting his hair (which is far too long), I finally saw the gash.
"Get off the phone!" I called to my husband,
"We need to take him in for a few stitches."
We cleaned it up a little to get a good look,
held a bandage to his head,
and struggled through getting everyone into coats and shoes.
He came home with two staples in his head.

Tonight I was reading 1 John 1 to my kids before bed.
If, then, we say that we have fellowship with him, 
yet at the same time live in the darkness, 
we are lying both in our words and in our actions. 
But if we live in the light---just as he is in the light---
then we have fellowship with one another, 
and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from every sin.
If we say that we have no sin, 
we deceive ourselves, and there is no truth in us.
But if we confess our sins to God, 
he will keep his promise and do what is right: 
he will forgive us our sins and purify us from all our wrongdoing.
If we say that we have not sinned, we make a liar out of God, 
and his word is not in us.
1 John 1:6-10

I noticed one of my children's eyes were very wide,
and there was a quivering chin.
"Mom?"
"What, honey? Did you want to say something?"
A nod.
"I was running... I mean, I was chasing...
and Silas was trying to get away from me...
and that's why he hurt his head."
The tears came then.
I held the offender, who was eaten up with guilt.
"Do you want to pray?"
Another nod.
"I'm sorry!"
"Listen, I forgive you. Jesus forgives you. Silas, do you forgive?" I said.
He came over and hugged his crying sibling fiercely,
kissing cheeks and laughing.

Whether you view the childishness that resulted in injury to someone else
as a sin, or simply an accident,
there is no doubt that confession was good for the soul.
This child was carrying around a burden of condemnation.
It was damaging fellowship, and hurting the heart.

If our conscience condemns us, 
we know that God is greater than our conscience 
and that he knows everything. 
And so, my dear friends, if our conscience does not condemn us, 
we have courage in God's presence. 
1 John 3:20-21

The child thought it was sin, and so it was sin.
Confession brought courage.
And reassured love.

Another Stone Soup

My mother always calls mish-mash unplanned meals 'stone soup'.
This one elicited several spontaneous 'I love yous',
and even a 'you're beautiful, Mom!'
Even the two picky ones asked for thirds.
The one who proclaimed my beauty two bites in also told me,
"You need to put this one on the computer."

I need to go to the grocery store,
and have been putting it off all week.
So our supplies were limited.
Making note of a few things we did have, (also the many we didn't),
I turned to my basic corn chowder recipe and didn't follow it.

In a pot:
one cube of butter,
six-eight cubed potatoes,
the end of a bag of frozen broccoli,
one diced onion,
about a cup of garlicky hummus (made with balsamic vinegar in place of lemon juice, and no tahini),
four chicken bouillon cubes,
some shakes of pepper,
two cups of water.

Bring it to boiling, and simmer until the potatoes and broccoli are soft enough.
Smash it all a little.

In a large bowl whisk:
four cups of milk,
3-4 TBSP flour,
1 tsp tumeric powder (for its incredible golden color and anti-inflammatory properties)

When it is all cooked, ladle the hot soup into the milk bowl, stir, and return to pot.
Bring it up to a good temperature, simmer for a few minutes,
and serve it with a sprinkle of cheddar.
You can thank me later.

Now Abide

Love

suffers long

and is kind;

Love

does not envy;

Love

does not parade itself,

is not puffed up;

does not behave rudely,

does not seek its own,

is not provoked,

thinks no evil;

does not rejoice in iniquity,

but rejoices in the truth;

bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

Love never fails.

But whether there are prophecies,

they will fail;

whether there are tongues,

they will cease;

whether there is knowledge,

it will vanish away...

And now abide faith,

hope,

love,

these three;

but the greatest of these is love.

Pursue love...

It is one of the most read chapters in the Bible, 

even by those who do not revere the Bible.

It separates love from knowledge, 

from prophetic utterance, 

from the words of men and of angels,

from the understanding of mysteries,

from great faith,

from generous giving,

and intentional martyrdom.

It strikes me that the first thing it says 

in its description of love is that it suffers long.

This isn't a Disneyland love story:

it isn't syrupy at all.

...and is kind.

It suffers long and is kind.

That alone would seem to disqualify this passage 

from describing a human relationship.

I know some loving people -- who get provoked.

It bears all things?

All things.

There is nothing it doesn't bear?

Hopes all things?

I am a perpetual foreseer of doom.

You're going to break that. 

You're going to trip over that.

You will definitely screw up.

Disaster is around the bend.

I can't comprehend hoping all things.

I would be better described as

despairing of all things.

Endures all things.

Again, with the impossible.

Love never fails.

When I stopped seeing this passage 

as a list of attributes I hadn't gained,

I started seeing Him.

God is love.

We know love by Him.

He suffers long, and is kind...

He bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

He never fails.

He continues to intercede on my behalf, 

because He continues to hope for me.

He thinks no evil of me.

Is not provoked by me.

He loved us first.

What Do I Know of Holy?

What do I know of holy?

Of Unapproachable Light?

I, who lived in the darkness;

I, who was born in the night.

What do I know of Dayspring?

Of Sacrifice-for-a-cause?

I, who give love in tenths;

I, the breaker of Laws.

You, the Lover of ugly;

You, who sanctify ground;

You, Creator from nothing:

In You, my holy is found.

Incompatible

Several weeks ago I read this:

"Research has shown that every happy, successful couple 
has approximately ten areas of 'incompatibility' 
or disagreement that they will never resolve. 
Instead the successful couples learn 
how to manage the disagreements and live life around them -- 
to love in spite of their areas of difference..."

Put on therefore, as God's elect, holy and beloved, 
a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, 
meekness, longsuffering; 
 forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, 
if any man have a complaint against any; 
even as the Lord forgave you, so also do ye: 
and above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfectness. 
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, 
to the which also ye were called in one body; 
and be ye thankful.  
Colossians 3:12-15 

You Don't Get To

I have been an observer of my sister's mothering for some time.
She is naturally motherly.
In fact, although she is younger than I am,
I have on occasion referred to her as my second mother.
She is soft-spoken and gentle.
I... have less to work with.
Over the years, I have witnessed her intervention in her children's disputes.
(Yes, although she is a wonderful mother,
her children also display their sin, as all do.)
They fight and argue and rip things out of each other's hands.
And inevitably, I hear my sister say what I've heard from her for years:
"You don't get to do that."
"You don't get to be a jerk."
"You don't get to _____________."
It always amuses me.
Like being a jerk is allowed to some people, but sorry -- you're not in the club.

I was doing the dishes last night, thinking about that phrase,
and thinking about what Jesus commanded His friends.
"Love one another."
And I also found myself thinking about believers I know
who have been hurt by their brothers and sisters,
and are nursing their wounds into bitterness.
And feeding them.
You don't get to do that.

When my sister and I were little and fought, my mom used to say,
"You have to get along.
You have to work it out."

"This is My commandment:
that you love one another, that your joy may be full."

"Beloved, let us love one another.
For love is of God,
and everyone that loves is born of God and knows God.
And he who does not love, does not know God,
for God is love.
...He who does not love abides in death."

You don't get to do that.

Good News!

Are you among those who are alienated from God?
An enemy in your mind because of wicked works? 

Your sins made the list of redeemable offences against God.

They were paid for by the blood of Jesus,
and faith in Him wipes out the list of charges against you.

Amnesty.
Reconciliation is offered through the body of His flesh through death.
You, too, Alienated Enemy, Worker of Wickedness,
can be presented holy and blameless and above reproach in His sight.

"And you,
being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh,
He has made alive together with Him,
having forgiven you all trespasses,
having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us,
which was contrary to us.
And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross."

Now wouldn't you like to shout?

Injustice

I have dear friends who are missionaries in Eastern Europe.
A man they know has recently been convicted of a crime
for being rear-ended while he was stopped in a car.
The judge was bribed, the police reports were changed,
and this husband and father is stuck in prison for seven years.
His friends and family have been praying for him.
People like me, who never met him have been praying for him.
And he is 'guilty', and imprisoned.
I don't know him or his family, and this is very distressing.

So many times people accuse God of injustice
because the world He gave us has so much corruption in it.
But we are the ones who set ourselves up
as the Knowers of Right and Wrong.
As the judges of good and evil.
We reject His Word, His justice.
We perpetrate our injustice on the world,
and we lay the blame at His feet.

But I cannot help but think of the good company
he and his family are in in suffering unjustly.
We are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses,
many of whom suffered as much or more.
The One we believed and the One we worship,
and the One we want to be found in
was crucified in the most horrendous case of injustice
this world has ever perpetrated.

Let's look unto Jesus, and run the race in front of us,
trusting that He is just, and the justifier of those who trust Him.
We are not of this world, not of these systems,
and our Home is a place of justice and truth.
Do not fail to hope in Christ, Christian.

I am Your Bondage

"O Lord, truly I am Your servant; 
I am Your servant, the son of Your maidservant;
You have loosed my bonds.
I will offer to You the sacrifice of thanksgiving,
and will call on the name of the Lord."
~ Psalm 116:16,17

It's an interesting thing to think of.
I am Your bondman.
The word comes from a word for bondage.
I am Your bondage.
I am Your bondage, the son of Your female slave;
You have loosed my bonds.

Loosed: to open wide, to break forth, to let go free.
Bonds: chastisement, a halter, restraint.

I am Your bondage, the son of Your female slave;
You have broken forth my chastisement.
You have let go free my restraints.
You have let me go free of my chastisement.

I am the bondage of the Lord,
born into His ownership,
unfettered and free.

It ought to bring about a worshipful thanks.
The word for calling on the name of the Lord is also interesting to me.
It actually means 'to accost'.
It makes me think of that blind man
who wouldn't shut up in his calling out to Jesus.

And sometimes I think we lose a little
where our translation simply says 'LORD'.
The word is 'Jehovah'.
Or 'YHWH', or something so much less English-sounding
than our English Bibles tell us.
The Self-Existent.
The Eternal.
And, oh -- that just made me a whole lot smaller than I was.

A New Soup For the New Year

I don't usually blog recipes, but feeding our families is important.
Last night we ate nachos for dinner, and we way over-estimated our needs.
It was late, we had been out shopping for hours,
and our hunger drove our frantic food preparations.
After the meal, I looked at the nachos still on the baking sheet,
and wondered what to do with them.
Leftover nachos are gross.
And there was no way I was going to throw away all that food.
Bake them in some kind of Mexican Nacho Casserole?
Didn't sound too appealing.

Soup?
Nacho Soup.
I scraped all the heaps of spiced ground turkey with onions and garlic,
cheese, tortilla chips, tomatoes, black beans,
refried beans, salsa, and sour cream into a bowl with a plan forming.

This afternoon I whisked a can of cream of chicken soup,
a few cans of milk, a can or two of water,
two chicken bouillon cubes and a can of chopped green chiles
together in my pot with cumin.
I don't know how much.
I don't think it's possible to over-cumin anything, so suit your own taste.
Once that was hot, I added part of a package of cream cheese.
When that was thoroughly melted and warmed,
I cut up the chips that were still too big, and tossed the whole mess in.
We topped it with broken tortilla chips.

Oh, my.
Everyone wanted seconds.
If I had some, I would have thrown in a chicken breast or two
and maybe another can of beans.
But it was excellent even without those.
This marks a Whole New Soup Era for me.
I may start making double our nacho needs on purpose. 

My husband took one bite and got out the camera to take a picture
so I could share it with you.

It isn't much to look at, but it's dynamite.

New Mercy and Compassions that Fail Not

I am not among those who revel in the change of the year.
I am prone to dismal forebodings.
And I am not resolute.
Or at least, I resent the expectation of resolve.
I don't like to make declarations of plans.
I prefer to simply do the things I think I ought to do.
(A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds --
and all that stuff.)

Last night, we watched the freak-out in Times Square.
And when the date changed, I thought, "Hmm. There it is. A new year. Wow."
My husband said, "Last year my work was coming to an end,
and I had no idea what we would do.
We had no money.
We hadn't even put our house on the market yet.
The Lord has been faithful to us."
It was a difficult year.
Actually, the few years before that were difficult, too.
And the Lord has been faithful to us.

I don't like changes.
They trigger anxiety for me.
But I remember that the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.
His mercies never come to an end.
They are new every morning.
Great is His faithfulness.

"This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, 
because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
The LORD is good to them that wait for him, 
to the soul that seeketh him. 
It is good that a man should both hope 
and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD."
~From Lamentations 3

Whatever lamentation the year may hold, the Lord is my portion.
He has new mercy for me every day.
He is faithful in great ways.
I am not consumed.
He is good to those who wait for Him,
and He has shown Himself so in my life.
I will hope in Him, and quietly wait for him.

"Put on humility. 
For God resists proud ones, 
but He gives grace to the humble.
Therefore be humbled under the mighty hand of God, 
so that He may exalt you in due time, 
casting all your anxiety onto Him, 
for He cares for you."
~From 1 Peter 5

He cares for me.
And His compassions fail not.
Happy first day of the first week of the first month of the new year.