Chosen Afflicted

'I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction' (Isaiah 48:10)

"We are chosen as an afflicted people, and not as a prosperous people, chosen not in the palace, but in the furnace. In the furnace, beauty is marred, fashion is destroyed, strength is melted, glory is consumed, and yet here eternal love reveals its secrets, and declares its choice... In times of severest trial God has made to us our calling and election plain, and we have made it sure: then have we chosen the Lord to be our God, and He has shown that we are assuredly His chosen."  (Spurgeon's Cheque Book of Faith, August 27th) 

"Many of us need no other argument than our own experiences to prove that suffering is indeed God's testing room of faith." 

"It is very easy for us to speak and theorize about faith, but God often casts us into crucibles to try our gold, and to separate it from the dross and alloy. Oh, happy are we if the hurricanes that ripple life's unquiet sea have the effect of making Jesus more precious. Better the storm with Christ than smooth waters without Him."

"What if God could not manage to ripen your life without suffering?" (Streams in the Desert, August 28th)

Space For Quiet

When I finished eighth grade, my parents pulled me out of school to homeschool me. I think it was one of the best things they ever did for me. The most valuable thing about it was the space for quiet it gave me. The schedule I kept when I was in public school did not leave me time to think. I got up very early to get ready, went to school all day long, and was sequestered all evening with homework. I did not spend time with my family, and I did not spend time truly alone, either. Every minute was filled with predigested thought or busy activity. The quiet space that my parents gave to me when they removed me from that bustle allowed me to hear the Lord speak to me. I think we all need quiet space in which to think and hear what the Lord would say to us.

"...Aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business,
and to work with your own hands,
as we commanded you, that you may walk properly
toward those who are outside..."
(1 Thessalonians 4:11)

"Better a handful with quietness than both hands full,
together with toil and grasping for the wind."
(Ecclesiastes 4:6)

"For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel:
'In returning and rest you shall be saved;
in quietness and confidence shall be your strength.'"
(Isaiah 30:15)

That We Are

"The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs -- heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ,  
if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time
are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
(Romans 8:16-18)

The Spirit bears witness with us that we are God's children and His heirs. Joint heirs with Christ when we suffer. When we suffer, the Spirit bears witness we are joined to Him in the past, the present, and the future. Suffering in a way marks us as fellowshippers with Him, and joint heirs of His glory, too. And the two aren't worthy to be compared, because the glory far outweighs the suffering.

We think we're left behind when we're suffering. We think we're forsaken in affliction. But the Holy Spirit is present with us, claiming our suffering as His own, even as He claims His glory for our future. Children of God. Marked as His heirs. It isn't, as we so often ask, "If I am a child of God, why am I suffering?" Our suffering marks us as joint heirs with Christ. Our Savior suffered what only men can suffer. And when we suffer, we ought to remember that just as He joined us in human suffering, we will join Him in glory.  Because He has united Himself to us in suffering, and we are united to Him in glory.

Like in any good marriage, our lot is joined for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in riches. But all the worst is now, and the best is yet to come. He came to us in our sickness, our poverty, our worst estate, and He united us to Himself. And we go with Him to His health, His riches, and His glory because He has united us to Himself.

Not Hiding God

 In Psalm 78, Asaph contemplates passing on faith. He says: the things which our fathers have told us, we will not hide from our children; telling to the next generation what we praise God for; the amazing works He did for our parents and for us. We will make them known to our children that the generation to come might know them, that the ones yet to be born might tell their children, that they may set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God.

Something Asaph thought necessary to pass on:

They spoke against God; they said, "Can God prepare a table in the wilderness? Can He give bread also?  Can He provide meat for His people?"

This is an essential lesson that we must pass down to our children. God can prepare a table in the wilderness. He can give bread. And He can provide meat for His people.

How will they learn to set their hope in God if they are not brought to see that God is not limited by wilderness resources? I can't prepare a table in the wilderness, but He can. I cannot give the multitude bread, but HE can. I can't get enough meat to feed the family in places the animals run from, but He can. We must not only set our hope on Him, we must tell our children about His works so that they will, too.

"They did not believe in God, and did not trust His salvation." Let this not be our epitaph.

It says he rained food down on them -- bread and meat. "In spite of this they still sinned, and did not believe in His wondrous works. Therefore their days He consumed in futility, and their years in fear."

Do you realize this is what comes of not believing God? Of refusing to hope in Him? All our days become futility and fear. Everything we do is useless -- like wandering for forty years in the desert, killing time until it kills us, because what He said we would not believe.

Fear. Through the fear of death, all their lifetimes they were subject to bondage. Subject. Their necks were under the foot of fear. Their lives were being ruled by death because they would not hope in God. Christ came to deliver us from that. God is our refuge and hope. Therefore will not we fear though the mountains be removed and thrown into the sea.

The Psalm describes how often He forgave them, being full of compassion. He turned His anger away. But how often they provoked Him in the wilderness, and grieved Him in the desert. "Yes, again, and again they tempted God, and limited the Holy One of Israel. They did not remember His power; the day when He redeemed them from the enemy." Does the word 'limited' jump off the page at you like it does me? They limited God. This is why we tell our children what He can do, what He does do, and what He will do. Because unbelief limits God.

He would not take them into the land because they would not believe His promises. That entire generation died in the wilderness. And the wilderness will claim us, too, if He is not our hope.

Our goal as parents is that our children would set their hope in the Lord. That they will believe in Him, and trust in His salvation. That training sometimes requires a trip through the wilderness. So that they can see that He can prepare a table in the wilderness. He can give bread. He can provide meat for His people.

When I was a young teenager, my family was in a financial wilderness. There was not enough money to cover the bills, and my parents were scared. But my mom was in the habit of reading the Word to us in the mornings, and praying with us. After reading, we seven children would sit and she would distribute to us the needs we had to pray for. Because she let us see the wilderness, hear the Word, and participate in the requests to the Lord for provision, our faith was built up as we saw God answer. One morning my little brother, who was six or seven at the time, insisted that he wanted to pray for $1000. Mom kept trying to get him to just pray for the needs that we had, and the tug of war between them brought him to tears. Mom said, "Fine. It's okay if you want to pray for $1000." He bowed his head and asked the Lord to send us $1000. We all indulgently waited through his prayer. That day in the mailbox there was a check for $1000.

It was humbling. The Lord prepared table after table after table for us, and it wasn't because of our great faith. He cares for us. And our children need to see that. They need to see me trusting Him with nothing. They need to understand that HE IS OUR HOPE AND OUR REFUGE. So they can teach their children, too.

I was talking with a lady last night who is 87 years old. A man asked her how long she had been walking with the Lord. She told us that she had believed in Jesus when she was 11 years old. Her mother had been very sick, and they thought she would die, so she had to go live with her grandmother. Her grandmother had to tell her about her mother's condition, and when she sat down with her, she told her about Jesus. She told her about who He is, and about His love and His power. Her grandmother taught her to pray. And the Lord spared her mother's life. When we sit down to break the news of death and destruction and loss and wilderness to our children, let it be accompanied with hope in the Lord. With the truth about who He is, and what He's done before. So that when our children are 87 years old, they can tell someone new what God has done.

"I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also." (2 Timothy 1:5)

Choosing Rather

The mystery of suffering confounds us. Conflicts our minds. As much as we say we do not believe prosperity doctrines, I think in each of our hearts we really do. Good Life = Good Stuff. Trusting the Lord = Overflowing Bank Accounts. We think God's love means sex and affection and happiness. God's love meant death for His Son for our sakes. And we act like He hasn't done enough to prove it to us.

I read Psalm 73 recently. That’s the one where Asaph starts out by telling you he had almost stumbled; his steps had nearly slipped because he saw the prosperity of the wicked. “They aren’t suffering pain when they die. They aren’t in trouble like us. We’re plagued, but it isn’t touching them. They have more than they need; they’re always at ease; their money grows.’ He concluded that serving the Lord had no reward, because he was suffering all day long, and being punished every morning. He said he tried to understand it, and it was too painful. “Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I understood their end: they’re on slippery ground; they are brought to desolation.”

He says he was grieved and vexed, because he was so foolish and ignorant. “I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with Your counsel, and afterward receive me into glory. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

“Those who are far from You perish…
but it is good for me to draw near to God;
I have put my trust in the Lord God.”

His suffering did not stop. That’s why he said, ‘my heart and my flesh fail.’ But he came to recognize that an entire lifetime of severe trials and suffering while being continually with the Lord, and being guided by His counsel and being afterward received into glory is preferable to the lives of the wicked who do not suffer, are not in trouble, and prosper.

“Moses by faith refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter,
choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God
than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a time,
esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt,
for he was looking to the reward…
for he endured as seeing Him who is invisible.
(Hebrews 11:24-26)

Him who is invisible. Jacob, at the time of his exile from his family said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I knew it not.” Why didn’t he know it? Because he was lonely. Because he was outcast. Because he couldn’t see Him. But He was there. We see riches and equate them with God's presence. In a sense, under affliction, we see Him less. The affliction is the very thing to endure as seeing the Invisible God. There is a fellowship with the very heart of God which is only available to us in our sufferings. We learn who He is. We learn to value what He values. We learn to long for His kingdom, to hope in His coming. We learn in a very small measure what it was for Him to choose to suffer affliction for our sakes. And we learn how to cry with others.

But whatever things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.
But no, rather, I also count all things to be loss
for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord,
for whose sake I have suffered the loss of all things,
and count them to be dung,
so that I may win Christ and be found in Him;
not having my own righteousness, which is of the Law,
but through the faith of Christ, the righteousness of God by faith,
that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection
and the fellowship of His sufferings,
being made conformable to His death;
if by any means I might attain to the resurrection of the dead.
(Philippians 3:7-11)

I don't think feelings of happiness are the automatic result of walking with the Lord. Those who hope in the Lord have often lived in unhappy situations, suffering poverty and misery. It comes down to whether we will sell our inheritance for a bowl full of porridge. We are offered our Father's whole estate. If we believe that, a few hunger pangs for a few hours are worth the pain. Esau was a man who valued a full belly now as more valuable than the blessing of God and the inheritance of his father. "Jacob have I loved, and Esau have I hated," said the Lord. A lot of people fault Jacob for his actions in life, but one thing about Jacob was that he valued God's gifts. He thought they were worth being exiled for -- without the inheritance he'd won from his brother.

A Promise From God

'I beseech you do not treat God's promises as if they were curiosities for a museum; but use them as everyday sources of comfort. Trust the Lord whenever your time of need comes on.' (C.H. Spurgeon)

I read that in Streams in the Desert this morning, and pondered God's promises for my time of need. I thought about how often He has helped us in the past, and how able He is for today and tomorrow. My Grandma's voice filled my mind.

More times than I can count, my Grandma has reminded me that Philippians 4:19 says, "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." She has written it to me in letters and in emails, and she's reminded me of it on the telephone. And sure enough, when I turned to Philippians 4:19, there it was written in black and white. God's Word says He'll supply all my need according to His riches by Christ Jesus.

The Wrongs Done to Us

We used to sing a song that had the line:

"Where the wrongs we have done

and the wrongs done to us

are nailed there with Him,

there on the cross."

The provision of the cross is enough for our sins, and also for the sins committed against us. It's ministered to me so many times to count the wrongs done against me as done to Christ. Exchanging my lot for His. He is a Man acquainted with grief, afflicted, and a Man of Sorrows. But He offers us joy. I need to let Him take my sorrows and let them die with Him there.

"If he has wronged you in any way, or owes you anything, charge it to My account."

In All These Things

‎"None of us can know which shock or illness (headache or operation, disappointment or disillusionment with a friend, criticism or other human attack, loss of job or loss of house and land, news of a loved one's death) will turn out to be the most important opportunity we are ever going to have to honestly love God and truly trust Him in a way which will bring Him joy and defeat Satan.We cannot know which is the most important moment in our lives."

(Edith Schaeffer, Affliction: A Compassionate Look at the Reality of Pain and Suffering)

There was something so comforting in the thought (which never occurred to me before) that suffering pain and affliction in itself, seeing no end to the trial and yet hoping in the Lord -- not in the end of the trial, but in the Lord -- is in itself a victory.

In all these things we are more than conquerors. In what things? Miracles and deliverances? Not in that passage. The things we are more than conquerors in are not victorious sounding things. Tribulation. Distress. Persecution. Famine. Nakedness. Peril. Sword. Being killed all day long. None of them shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Spurgeon For Moms

"O dear mothers, please understand that you have a very sacred trust reposed in you by God! He has in effect said to you, 'Take this child away, and nurse it for me, and I will give thee thy wages' (Exodus 2:9). You are called to equip the future man of God, that he may be 'thoroughly furnished unto all good works' (2 Timothy 3:17). If God spares you, you may live to hear that pretty boy speak to thousands, and you will have the sweet reflection in your heart that the quiet teachings of the nursery led the adult man to love his God and serve Him.

"Those who think that a woman detained at home by her little family is doing nothing, think the reverse of what is true. Scarcely can the godly mother quit her home for a place of worship. However, dream not that she is lost to the work of the church. Far from it, she is doing the best possible service for her Lord.

"Mothers, the godly training of your offspring is your first and most pressing duty. Christian women, by teaching children the Holy Scriptures, are as much fulfilling their part for the Lord as Moses did in judging Israel, or Solomon in building the temple."

(Charles Spurgeon, Spiritual Parenting)

A Thought

The average American's life revolves around production.
Mine revolves around reproduction.
God said, "Be fruitful and multiply." He didn't say, "Build a portfolio and accumulate."

Silas Prays

"Jesus, thank You He gave me His Holy Spirit and He didn't want it. Amen."
After praying the above prayer, Silas told his siblings that God had given His Holy Spirit to him, and also: "I gived Him my holy spirit.'

Thoughts on the Suicide of a Believer

Personally, I have been thinking a lot about the heart of God, which He Himself has told us is the heart of a shepherd toward His sheep, and a Father towards His children.

I've been contemplating the mercy Jesus showed toward those who died, whose families grieved, toward the children who threw themselves in the fire.

Jesus said sick people need a doctor, not healthy people. He has a doctor's heart, too.

According to the scripture, if you believe on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, you will be saved.

It only took one look at the serpent on the pole in Exodus for the plague to be healed. Just one look.

Jesus said all manner of sins would be forgiven men, except the sin of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. ALL manner of sins? That's what He said. I am stunned at the magnanimousness of what He said. But He plainly showed while He was here on earth that He did in fact have the authority to forgive sins, to the anger and disgust of the Pharisees.

The scripture says that all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved. It doesn't say 'all fit persons who have their lives together and call on the name of the Lord'.

To quote some of the old hymn Come Ye Sinners Poor and Needy:

Let not conscience make you linger
Nor of fitness fondly dream
All the fitness He requireth
Is to feel your need of Him

I take comfort myself in the character of Christ. Jesus said, "If you've seen me, you've seen the Father."

He is the fulfillment of the all the law and the prophets, not us. He fulfilled every jot and every tittle of both the righteous requirements of the law, and of the suffering the consequences of the breaking of the law, which we are ALL guilty of. In Him, all the promises of God are 'yes' and 'amen'.

Heaven is not offered to us based on our works, but on His works. The law was written so that all men everywhere would recognize their failure to fulfill it. And He said, "I have come that they may have life, and that more abundantly."

When Jesus was asked 'What must I do to work the works of God?'
He answered, 'Believe on the One whom He sent.'

Fragile by Design

Jeff and I took the kids to the beach the other day. (This is a miracle. It's May, and in my state, you don't wear your swimsuit to the beach or touch the water until July.) All of us enjoyed finding crabs, those weird long bivalves whose name I don't know, mussels, seaweed, sea urchin shells, snails, driftwood, and plenty of rocks for throwing. Isaiah and I picked up every sea urchin shell we could find. They're just so remarkably beautiful. I've always admired them. Several were so delicate that in picking them up, they broke in pieces. An hour or two after we'd gotten there, I picked one up, showed it to Isaiah, said, "It's fragile," and broke it.

"Well, mom, it's meant to be fragile," he said.

"What?"

"It's because it has those things in it. It was designed to be fragile."

I turned over the part of the sea urchin that was left, wondering what 'things' he was talking about. It had some muddy looking sand in it. "What things?"

"I can't remember what they're called. But do you see how they break so evenly? It's made to break like that."

I had not seen. I had only noticed they broke. I rinsed the urchin out, and looked more carefully. I broke it slowly, watching for 'things'. One broke in a perfect zigzag. I broke off another bit, which followed a perfect waved line. I found another intact one, and looked inside it. And then I saw the 'things'.
They're perforated. They have tiny, perfect, brilliantly beautiful perforated designs dividing them in sections vertically. And in between the sections, the shell is like honeycombed bricks. It took my breath away to look at it. I held one up to the light.

Wow. They're designed that way.

Holding Patterns and Heel Flaps (Thoughts on Waiting)

I had the benefit of watching our entire flight from Tel Aviv to Frankfurt on the video monitor in front of my seat in February. Our flights to Israel had all been delayed by many hours, and we set off for home expecting more trouble. Israel was about 90 degrees the day before we left. As we got closer to Frankfurt, our captain explained to us first in German, then in French, and finally in English that a snow storm was causing delays in Frankfurt, and we were going to enter a holding pattern to give the ground crew time to clear the runways in preparation for our arrival. This was not nice news. I was sure we would end up missing our connections, and be stuck in Germany again going home.

Mentally I've always pictured a holding pattern as giant circles directly over the airport you want to land at -- there you are, exactly where you want to be, with no hope of landing. I watched the screen as hundreds of miles away from Frankfurt, our plane made cursive loops, each one getting a little closer to our destination. I felt the Lord drawing my attention to the pattern itself. It wasn't what I thought. It advanced, slower than the pilot had intended at first, but still, it was advancement. And as we finally landed, later than we had wanted to, I looked around at the snow on the ground, and at the equipment that had been working to clear the snow. While we were delayed in the air, all the expectations of the ground crew were working toward our arrival. The delay brought us safety. The 'hindrance' was for our benefit.

I am a knitter. There I was, mindlessly knitting a sock, (which is an excellent small project to carry in your purse) when I noticed something I'd never noticed before. A top-down sock is knitted first as a tube. Each line of stitches advances evenly in each row. One perfect spiral of interlocking loops for how ever many inches you want the leg to be. Mine was six inches. When the tube is six inches long, I place half the stitches on one needle, and knit a flap in a slip stitch pattern, which forms the heel of the sock. The other half of the stitches remain on their needles -- doing nothing, and having only reached half their knitting potential. For twenty-five rows, I ignore them. Every row brings the working stitches farther from the held stitches. If I was a held stitch, I would feel left behind. Set on the shelf. Cast off.

After twenty-five rows of slip stitching, I turn the heel. Turning the heel changes its shape and reduces the working stitches. When I have 14 stitches left, I divide them in half, and I pick up stitches from the sides of the flap. Once the stitches are picked up, the entire sock is rejoined into a tube. The dormant section of the sock is active again, and the knitting resumes its spiraling. The held stitches are no less a part of the sock when they are waiting than they are when they are working. The entire fabric is only one long thread, and every bit of it passes through my hands. The yarn is not a stitch until I form it. It's just yarn until I make it something else. Each stitch has its place and its time of service. If I never left half of them inactive, the sock would have no heel.

Ephesians 4 and Colossians 2 both talk about the Body of Christ, and how it is knitted together in love.

Goodbye, Bob.

Well, I did it. Tonight, when I put Silas to bed, he said, "I want Bob." And I said, "No more Bob anymore." (Bob is his pacifier.)
His little lip quivered, and he asked in a mournful tone, "Why?"
And I said, "Because you grew into too big of a boy for Bob."
Wonder filled his voice. "I DID?! I'm big now?"
I nodded. "Too big for Bob." His lips quivered again, and he let me hold him while the tears quietly fell. "It's hard to grow up, isn't it?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"But I love you, and Jesus loves you, and you still have Pooh-Bobboo." (Pooh-Bobboo is his Winnie the Pooh blankie.)
"Big boys don't have Bobs and Pooh-Bobboos," he assured me. But his lips were still quivering.
I told him a secret about some 'big boys and girls' he knows who still have their bobboos. He laughed.
Isaiah prayed for him that he would be brave and the Lord would help him. And he prayed for Isaiah that he would 'do his test good' tomorrow.
Oh, how I love my brave little boys. And I'm going to go cry now.

Family Feud

“You’re sick, Silas.” Jeff said.
“No!”
“Yes, you are.”
“Why?”
“Well, because Adam sinned and all kinds of trouble came into the world.”
“I don’t like Adam.”

Sweetness from a Friend

"Hush my child cease your worries, God cares for you.
He feeds the birds and clothes the lilies, God cares for you."
(My friend Brenda)

Something Beautiful

It is no great vision to see the ugliness of now. Anyone who can see can see it. "The material world around us appears to be the real world, but it is not." (Warren Wiersbe)

"The things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:18)

Eternal. Unseen. Invisible. Elijah, in referring to the Lord, called Him "the God before Whom I live". Hebrews 11 tells me Moses "endured as seeing Him who is invisible". They 'saw' what cannot be seen. They chose to live in the seen world by the facts of the unseen world. They saw beyond the veil. Their eyes recognized eternity and looked past the here and now.

I've been thinking about Psalm 16:6 lately. "Your boundary lines mark out pleasant places for me. Indeed, my inheritance is something beautiful." I've been thinking about it because it looks like my lot is not beautiful. Not pleasant. What I can see is dark. I read, "How great is the goodness You have stored up for those who fear You." (Psalm 31:19) But I don't see goodness. We are suspended between two worlds.

All this ugliness, all this death, all these days of darkness will give way before His Beauty and Life and Light. He makes all things beautiful in His time.

"He had no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see Him,
there is no beauty that we should desire Him.
He is despised and rejected of men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief:
and we hid as it were our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we esteemed Him not.
Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows:
yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. "
(Isaiah 53:2-4)

It says He had no beauty. Nothing to desire. Despised. Rejected. Man of sorrow. Bearing griefs. Esteemed not. Stricken. Smitten of God. Afflicted.

But in another place, it says (and how my heart thrills to read it), "Thine eyes shall see the King in His beauty: they shall behold the land that is very far off." (Isaiah 33:17) How are they reconciled? I think by which eyes we see Him with. See Him in the material, and it's sorrow and grief and affliction. See Him in the far off land, and you see the King in His Beauty.

"You will no longer be forsaken and hated, a city deserted and desolate. I will make you great and beautiful, a place of joy forever and ever." (Isaiah 60:15)

"The desert will sing and shout for joy; it will be as beautiful as the Lebanon Mountains and as fertile as the fields of Carmel and Sharon. Everyone will see the Lord's splendor, see His greatness and power." (Isaiah 35:2)

"They will be alive with new growth, and beautiful like olive trees. They will be fragrant like the cedars of Lebanon." (Hosea 14:6)

"For our light affliction, which is for the moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
(2 Corinthians 4:17, 18)

Indeed, my Inheritance is Something Beautiful.

Physicians' Prescriptions

I've not been well lately. My prescriptions over the past month have multiplied excessively (to me, anyway). I've been pondering medical prescriptions and their side effects. The nausea, the interactions, the heart palpitations, the need for probiotics.

And I've been reading about blueberries. And strawberries. And salmon. And I've been thinking about God's prescriptions. I've been thinking about His recommendations, His gifts, His answers. And the Scripture: "The blessing of the Lord maketh rich, and He adds no sorrow with it." The food He makes tastes good, it makes me feel good, it promotes healing, and brings pleasure. The pleasure God offers is therapeutic without side effects. It heals without damaging. It's sweet without tooth decay. His pleasures promote health, well-being, peace of mind. We crave sweetness and convince ourselves that candy will fill the need. It coats our teeth and rots them. But good ripe fruit -- ah, the bliss. The sweetness, the vitamins, the toxin-killing antioxidants. You don't have to know anything about chemicals to benefit from them. And He grows them in our own backyards.

In the back of my mind, I have swimming so many applications to that. Man's prescriptions for happiness, fulfillment, health, peace of mind, success, pleasure -- somehow all end up costing too much, and the side effects make us sick. They create other needs. They interact in deadly ways with each other, and there are casualties. Death, and morbidity. But God's prescriptions bring life, and well-being, and fruit. And I can enjoy them guiltlessly. Pure pleasure and a clear conscience, too.

"Thou crownest the year with Thy goodness; and Thy paths drop fatness."
(Psalm 65:11)

"Thou wilt show me the path of life: In Thy presence is fullness of joy;
In Thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore."
(Psalm 16:11)

"Oh taste and see that the Lord is good: Blessed is the man that taketh refuge in Him."
(Psalm 34:8)

The God Who Sees

I got a note in the mail from a friend the other day. She wanted to share something with me, and I was glad she did.

"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you:
not as the world gives, give I unto you.
Let not your heart be troubled,
neither let it be afraid."
(John 14:27)

She also shared a quote from Oswald Chambers:

"It is one thing to go through a crisis grandly,
but another thing to go through every day glorifying God
when there is no witness, no limelight, no one paying the remotest attention to us."

She said, "God sees all that you do and all the trials you will go through. Whatever trial it may be now, He will carry you through it."

Yesterday I sat down for a minute to read from a sweet little book I own called Daily Bread. I didn't have time to read much, so I grabbed that.

"He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge..." (Psalm 91:4)

"I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him will I trust.'" (Psalm 91:2)

This morning I read from Spurgeon's Cheque Book of Faith:

"'Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, saith the Lord of Hosts.' I see that I can do nothing, and that all reliance on man is vanity. 'Not by might.' I see that no visible means can be relied on, but the force is in the invisible Spirit. God alone must work, and men and means must be nothing accounted of. If it be so, that the Almighty God takes up the concerns of His people, then great mountains are nothing. He can remove worlds as boys toss balls about, or drive them with their foot. This power He can lend to me. If the Lord bids me move an Alp I can do it through His name. It may be a great mountain, but even before my feebleness it shall become a plain; for the Lord hath said it. What can I be afraid of with God on my side?"

And the Lord keeps reminding me of this:

The joy of the Lord will be my strength
I will not falter, I will not faint
He is my Shepherd, I am not afraid
The joy of the Lord is my strength
The joy of the Lord
The joy of the Lord
The joy of the Lord is my strength

The joy of the Lord will be my strength
He will uphold me all of my days
I am surrounded by mercy and grace
and the joy of the Lord is my strength
The joy of the Lord
The joy of the Lord
The joy of the Lord is my strength

The joy of the Lord will be my strength
I will not waiver walking by faith
He will be strong to deliver me safe
and the joy of the Lord is my strength
The joy of the Lord
The joy of the Lord
The joy of the Lord is my strength

Logic

We prayed over a meal at my mom's house, and afterward, she teased Elisa, who had been chewing during the prayer. "Were you chewing?"

Elisa smiled and nodded.

"Do you think God can hear our prayers if we're chewing?"

"Well, I chewed quietly."

Thoughts on Equality

Without discrimination, God offers His mercy and the forgiveness of sin to every man who will put his faith in Jesus Christ. And with full equality, He requires each of us to repent of our sin.

The most hateful, discriminatory thing I can think of is to separate out one group of sinners from the rest and assure them they have no need of repentance. It's the spiritual equivalent of offering them a shower and herding them into a gas chamber. A church that puts its stamp of approval on the very sins Jesus bled to pay for is a church offering indulgences. The indulgences are worthless to those who receive them, and the church shares in the sins it approves. If God smiles on sin, why crucifixion? How could He offer His Son to die in agony if our sins are no offense to Him?

'Devotions' for the Sleep-Deprived

 This note is a compilation of an email conversation with several of my mommy friends. It's a little long, but I found the conversation a real encouragement, and thought other moms might also benefit. I tried to edit out some of the non-essentials.
It began with an email from my friend:

"All day long I have been thinking and praying about how to spend time with the Lord alone in the morning. As all of you know before you have kids, and even with just one, its fairly easy to set aside that time undistracted. Honestly, I have struggled lately with making it a priority. So since you all have little ones here is my question to you: How do you do it? Do you set your alarm and get up in the morning before the kids wake? Do you give them something to do while you are studying in a different room? Are you doing it during their nap, or after bedtime? I would really appreciate any help you could offer. The baby is finally on a much better schedule that is somewhat predictable. Thank you in advance. Oh and yes I know that things will be changing with her still under a year, and don't want to pressure myself into anything unrealistic. Just need some advice."

Another friend replied:

"I think I'm in the same boat you are: I don't have a set devotion time anymore and it is frustrating. I've tried having my quiet time while the girls are at the table having breakfast, but that ends with a huge mess for me to clean up and having to wait to have my breakfast till it's almost lunch. I was also unsuccessful at waking up early, or staying up later to get it done due to extreme sleep deprivation. The one thing I've found that somewhat works is sitting down with them and reading them a story from their children's Bible and then putting them at the table with crayons and having them draw a picture about the story. So far they haven't drawn anything about the story, but it will usually buy me about 15 minutes to sit and read something on my own. I've been trying to take whatever story is in their Bible and then reading it in my own Bible after. I wish I could say this works for us everyday, but realistically I'd say it happens about once a week. I also signed up for devotionals that come right to my email, so whenever I have a few minutes to check my email I can get a little boost throughout the day.

I'm really looking forward to everyone else's responses!"

I butted in:

"I haven't had a chance to read all the previous posts yet, but I wanted to say something anyway. I have found that the first year after having a baby, a schedule is unrealistic. If you have a baby that is up often at night, the baby creates exhaustion in Mom and Dad. You get what sleep you can, you feed everyone in the house, and you read a verse here and there. When they were tiny, some of them tolerated me reading my Bible while I nursed them. One didn't. I don't personally believe having a scheduled life is necessarily a spiritual life (although it certainly can be). I like to be scheduled, but every baby I have had has wrecked our schedule.

"Once my babies are about a year old, our life seems to fall back into place. We get regular sleep, we wake up at consistent hours, and do our dishes. For us, my husband gets up first, showers, and heads downstairs to do breakfast. He reads in the kitchen, and listens to teachings while I shower, and read my Bible up in our room. We get the kids up, eat together, and Daddy leaves. Bible is right after breakfast, followed by schooling. We're normally done by noon at the latest. If there's time left, they play. If not, lunch is right away. I put them down for naps (the youngest two at this point) at 1 or 1:30. The older two do something quiet for two hours. Dinner's usually by five. However, Sundays and Wednesdays are different. And Thursdays and Saturdays are different, because Jeff's usually home. I like a fairly consistent pace, but I think the main scheduled events for kids ought to be: getting up, eating regular meals, hearing God's Word, and healthy sleeping hours. And they need to play. One thing: our kids have to stay in their rooms till we're up. It gives us a little time and space for the Word.

"Don't forget that God loves you, He loves children, and He invented a family -- not to turn us into well-oiled machines, but well-fed children of God. Children are messy, slow people who still know how to stare at ants."

My sister said:

"My kids always wake up when I wake up, no matter how early I get up. Within minutes they are up, and with our schedule changing so often in the last year, I have not had a set time either, so what I would advise is for you to be ready. If they are watching a movie or playing quietly, sneak to a corner and open the Word. The dishes CAN wait. If the kids are quiet, take advantage of it. If you can't handle looking at a mess, get under a blanket, or face your chair to a wall. I have done this many times because I was too tempted to clean first, but by the time I am done, the kids are at my feet. But then when you are doing dishes or folding laundry, pray. Ask the LORD to speak to you in those times, and look for moments. Write out verses and place them on the fridge, over the sink, in the bathroom, and meditate on them as you work. I have been so amazed too, as I go through our children's Bible with the kids, how much the LORD speaks to me as I am trying to simply explain it to them. Do what you can to limit distractions: turn off the computer, turn the phone off. But be flexible. Sometimes I am not able to get into the Word alone until nap time, but at the point I am so tired I take a nap myself, so it is not until bedtime. So read with the kids, and ask the LORD to show you things. He is faithful.
"I read about some famous pastor's mother who would pull her apron up over her head and taught her kids when she did that not to talk to her because that was her prayer closet!
"I hope something from that helps."

I joined in again:

"I thought about how to answer this. I never want to discourage anyone from getting into the Word. We need it. But at the same time, I know we are often driven by the enemy to be discouraged because we are, in fact, mothers and not hermits. The scripture plainly says that the unmarried are the ones able to serve without distraction, and the married women have to worry about other things. Every house is different in how it functions due to job and child situations. Every time I have had a baby, the entire first year has been up in the air as far as a schedule goes. Some of my babies have been angels about lying in my lap nursing, and I've actually been able to read my Bible while I nursed. That was great. Others have been thrashers, jealous of every look I gave to anything besides them. I do not get up extra early. It wakes my household, and I'm such a night owl that I can't stay awake. Personally, a year after a baby has been born in our home, we find our feet again, and figure out how to do it. We have the baby in our room for months, and so it eliminates our room as a place of quiet to retreat to. A small house leaves few options.

"So: what has been working for us for some time is that my husband gets up first, showers, wakes me, and heads downstairs. He starts coffee and reads in the kitchen (or if he's able, out on the porch) while I shower. In the winter, I read up in my room while he makes breakfast. Lately, I've been reading out on my porch. The kids are not usually allowed out of their rooms, and have to play quietly (unless I'm on the porch, because they don't really disturb me). But see, I feel guilty admitting this arrangement, because my husband handles food in the morning. Most men don't. Jeff told me that he sees that as his way of washing me with the water of the Word -- providing that for me. But he starts work a little later than many men, and doesn't have much of a commute. And you can't tell a hungry baby to wait quietly. And I do my dishes at night, while he puts the kids to bed.

"Lani's reply was great. It was Susannah Wesley who did that, I think -- John's mother. She had something like eighteen kids. But I can't quiet my mind in a room full of noise. I feel utterly bewildered. Here's what I really want to say about all of it, though -- I keep coming back to this: The man asked Jesus, 'What must I do to work the works of God?'
And Jesus said, 'Believe on the One whom He sent.'
I can do that. I can do that in noise. I can do that in quiet. I can do that with a crying baby in my room. Because He didn't say, 'Spend an hour of quiet time in My Word every day.' He said to believe in Him. He made it possible for the busiest, most harassed, stupidest, smartest, most uneducated in the things of God to be filled with His Spirit, and accepted in the Beloved -- and that gives me devotion.

"'It is not by works of righteousness that I have done, but according to His mercy He has saved me.' The mothers in the early church did not own copies of God's Word. And they were righteous. They heard the Word corporately, as did the rest of the believers. Probably if anyone wanted to read the Old Testament scriptures, they had to go down to the local synagogue, and they might not have been too welcome. You think about it, you talk about it, you read it when you can, and you rest in the finished work that Jesus did, which leaves us with 100% free access to the throne of God. I write it on a chalkboard on my bathroom wall. I tape it to windows where the kids can read it, I put it by my sink and in the laundry room. There are four scriptures taped to my computer monitor. And my hope is in Him. I do not believe that abiding in Christ is reading a certain amount of scripture. It's existing in Him by faith. It's drawing my strength from Him. It's having my heart open to hear Him -- and sometimes He speaks through these distractions.

"He's spoken to me while I homeschooled the kids, while I changed peed-on sheets at midnight, while I was coaching a child through pooping on the toilet. He's answered my prayers for wisdom in what to make for dinner because there was almost nothing in the house. And it's that fellowship that feeds me, even more than a designated hour at a specific time. But when I notice that I need time in the Word that I'm not getting, I ask the Lord for help. And He shows me how to do it."

I added afterward:

"I read a great quote this morning I wanted to add, too: "The wholehearted believer lives consciously hidden in the secret of God's presence." (Andrew Murray; The Ministry of Intercessory Prayer)

"I want to grow in that. I know God is more interested in the position of my heart toward Him than the location of my 'devotions'. I can't remember if it was Elijah or Elisha (why did their names have to be so alike?) -- but one of them called Him 'The God before Whom I live' and I've thought about it a lot. Living in the presence of God makes all the difference in us. But we don't realize it. We're like that widow giving her last two coins -- she didn't even know He was watching her. And He was watching her with approval. Or (is it in Micah?) where the people of God spoke together about Him, and there He was listening in and having it recorded. I want to be aware of His presence, because that results in paying attention to Him. Moses 'endured as seeing Him who is invisible'. Enoch 'walked with God'. I love when I'm paying attention, and don't miss the little lessons His Spirit gives me even in the chaos.

"'And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness." (From Romans 8) We don't know how to pray, so He prays for us. I LOVE that."

My sister added:

"I had another thought also after reading Laura's note. For several years I was going through the One Year Bible, and the first several I enjoyed it a lot, going through all the different parts at a time, but I think my third year, I had just had a baby, and it became a work that I was doing. My attitude was such that I wasn't going to the Word to hear from the LORD, but I was putting in my time, and when I recognized that in myself I realized that I was feeling driven by that time line and I wasn't actually even thinking about or praying about the scripture I was reading. So I stopped going through that. I started just going through one book of the Bible and thinking about it and praying about it, sometimes only reading a couple verses at a time, over and over. So for me, I really have to be careful about my attitude. I seem to get caught up in doing works, but we are called to a relationship with Jesus, and He wants to have us attentive our whole day, not just during 'devotions'."

I added:

"Yes.
"George Muller was asked once how much he read every day. (I think it was him). He said he read until the Lord spoke to him. If it was one verse, it was one verse. If it took ten chapters, it was ten chapters.

"I have a very old book called "Daily Food". For each day, it has two verses and a four or six line hymn selection. I love this book. Some days, it's all I get."

The first friend replied:

"I am always surprised (though I shouldn't be) how the enemy finds new and creative ways to distract me from what is important. The Lord is doing such a work in teaching me right now about having patience, showing love to my husband and the kids, and really seeking Him in everything I do. I find so often that my mind is filled with to-do lists and projects, conversations and the what-ifs of life."

Best of Show

My Dad has been doing some work for us in our house. "I think Grampy's the best builder in the whole world." Isaiah said.
Elisa looked skeptical. "I don't know... What about God?"
"Maybe second best."
"I don't know..." She still looked doubtful. "What about the angels?"
"Well... maybe third best?" he tried.
"But what about spirit? Don't you think spirit is a better builder than man?" she said.
"Okay. Fourth best. But do you think workers are better builders than Grampy?"
"No."
There. It's settled.

Putting On My Cowboy Boots Of Faith

In 2004, Jeff and I left our two children with my parents for a week and went to Colorado to attend the wedding of a dear friend. While we were there, we found a pair of cowboy boots which we bought for Isaiah, who was almost three. I told him about them over the phone several days before we came home. They were brown and black. My mom told me he went around for days telling anyone who would listen, "I have new cowboy boots! They're brown and black." He had never seen them. But he had them. He knew he had them, because his Mom said they were his. I wrote a prayer in my journal:

Lord, give me that kind of faith. The kind that believes what You tell me, and walks around triumphant over the things that I 'have', but have not yet seen or possessed. Faith like a child -- like Hebrews 11.

Personally, I consider myself a realist. (I know that some of you unrealistic optimists have now mentally labeled me a pessimist.) If I have a trip to Disneyland planned, I try not to expect it, to avoid the disappointment of failing to achieve it -- in the event the whole thing falls through. The plane might not make it, you know. Storms could cause me to spend my entire vacation in an airport. Maybe I'll die before the date arrives. I just don't know. I do enjoy Disneyland if I'm there, I'm just not one of those people who gets all their enjoyment out of anticipation. I wait till things pan out before I celebrate them. But I would have been so insulted if my son had said, "Yeah, right. I'll believe that when I see it." And with God alone, the things that He says are all 'Yes' and 'Amen' in Christ. No 'what ifs' about it with Him. He speaks worlds into existence, and whatever He speaks IS. I can walk in those cowboy boots now.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
(Hebrews 11:1)

Grace and peace be multiplied to you
through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord,
According as his divine power hath given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness,
through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:
Whereby are given to us exceeding great and precious promises;
that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature,
having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
(2 Peter 1:2-4)

Conquering Kings and Slaying Giants

At my children's request, I have been reading Esther to them in our Bible time. This morning we read chapter two. As I read verse fifteen, something about Esther stood out to me, and I'd like to share it.

"Now when the turn of Esther...
had come to go in to the king,
she required nothing but what Hegai the king's chamberlain,
the keeper of the women, appointed.
And Esther obtained favor in the sight of all them that looked upon her."
(Est 2:15)

I was reminded of David, as he prepared for his battle with Goliath.

"And David said to Saul, I cannot go with these [all the armor of a warrior], for I have not proved them.
And David put them off from him.
And he took his staff in his hand, and chose him five smooth stones out of the brook,
and put them in a shepherd's bag which he had, even in a scrip;
and his sling was in his hand; and he drew near to the Philistine...
Then said David to the Philistine,
Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield:
but I come to thee in the name of the LORD of hosts,
the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied.
This day will the LORD deliver thee into my hand;
and I will smite thee, and take thy head from thee;
and I will give the carcasses of the host of the Philistines this day to the fowls of the air,
and to the wild beasts of the earth;
that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel.
And all this assembly shall know that the LORD saveth not with sword and spear:
for the battle is the LORD'S, and he will give you into our hands."
(From 1 Samuel 17:38-47)

Both David and Esther went to their battles shunning the devices of human victories. They left the props behind. They went in simplicity, trusting the Lord to supply their lack. Esther went to conquer a king -- simply, as herself, trusting God. David went to slay a giant -- simply, as himself, trusting God.

Lord, help me to go to Your work simply, as myself, trusting You. I don't want to clothe myself in the strength of man, but in Your strength. And I want to be clothed in Your beauty -- the beauty of holiness, not in the fashions of this world. For Yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen.

"...who through faith subdued kingdoms,
worked righteousness,
obtained promises,
stopped the mouths of lions,
quenched the violence of fire,
escaped the edge of the sword,
out of weakness were made strong,
became valiant in battle,
turned to flight the armies of the aliens."
(From Hebrews 11)

Thoughts On Unjust Fees

I hate government interference. I hate unjust fees, unjust taxes, and the oppression of the underclasses through bureaucratic fines. I hate auto registration fees. I hate use taxes. I hate the confiscation of private lands by the corporation that is the federal government in the name of 'preservation' for the masses -- and the subsequent charging of fees to those masses to allow them to walk in the forest. It strikes me as arrogant elitism to 'preserve' nature for the masses while making it unaffordable to the lower classes to enjoy it. It confines the poor to crappy housing in crowded places, with no view of the sky. But this isn't about that.

I've had friends and family who've gone as missionaries to less law-abiding countries than our own. I've been thinking about the extra money they are forced to carry with them to pay off corrupt officials. To bribe the police not to unjustly jail them. To pay not to be hassled at airports and traffic stops. As much as this annoys me to think of, I've been thinking about the fact that the missionaries are not citizens of those countries. Many of those 'fees' and 'fines' are not legally owed by the missionaries who pay them. But they are the cost of being in those countries -- on a mission. I am not a citizen of earth. I am a citizen of heaven. And while these unjust taxes at times make me boiling mad, the revolt against fees and fines and blood-sucking regulations are not my purpose here on earth. I can be caught up in the fight against them (and in my opinion, I would be absolutely justified), or I can get on with what I'm here for. I can remember I don't LIVE here. I'm only here for a little while. And the City I get to call home isn't like that.

Lead Me on Level Ground

We sang a song at our ladies' retreat that included the line, "Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground." I was thinking about how we lead our children.

When I lead my two-year-old, holding him by the hand, I choose places he can go. I pick level paths, and I go slow. When I lead my four-year-old, I choose harder paths for her -- but not paths that are hard for her. I carry my children over steep places, lead them on level places, and let them run in grass. God shows no less care for His children in considering their needs, their abilities, and their joys.

Getting Home

I drove home alone today from our ladies' retreat. It was after noon, and I hadn't eaten lunch. I passed a number of appealing attractions -- antique stores, art galleries, a yarn store I like, yard sales -- and every time, the thought crossed my mind: 'I could stop for a minute.' Jeff didn't know I was on my way. He wouldn't worry if I got there later. But every time, I thought again: 'No, I want to get home. I miss my husband.' Just south of town, I passed a favorite junk shop, and the thought presented itself again. And again, I thought, 'No -- I want to see my husband.' In town, I passed McDonald's, and considered going through the drive-thru. My hunger had become pain. But again, I drove on. And then I had a lesson. My love for and longing to see my husband caused me to go on and look away from places I like to visit, to turn away from a quick fix for my hunger, and to look forward to home. When presented with temptation, my love for the God whom I serve can fill my mind so that thing looks less attractive. The hunger that I feel can be met at Home.

"It's not that I've already reached the goal or have already completed the course.
But I run to win that which Jesus Christ has already won for me.
Brothers and sisters, I can't consider myself a winner yet.
This is what I do: I don't look back, I lengthen my stride,
and I run straight toward the goal to win the prize that God's heavenly call offers in Christ Jesus. Whoever has a mature faith should think this way.
And if you think differently, God will show you how to think."
Philippians 3:12-15

Praying for Mom

Jeff was away for a few days. The first night, Elisa prayed, "Lord, please bless Mom while she doesn't sleep with Dad, even though she likes to."
Amen.

Confrontation

Last week I took the kids to the park, where I introduced myself to several moms, and our kids took off playing together. After a little while, Isaiah walked up to one of the mothers and said, "Why does your little girl say that you said she's not allowed to go to church?"

The woman looked puzzled. "What?"

He repeated his question. (The little girl was three.) The mother told him she didn't know why the girl had said that since they did go to church.

Later, in the car, I asked Isaiah about his conversation with the little girl. He told me he had asked her if she went to church, and she had said her mom told her she couldn't. "But she was just a little girl... she didn't know what she was talking about."

He said Elisa had asked her if she believed in God, and she had said, "No."
Talia said, "Are you a good guy?"

"NO!" The little girl ran away. When she came back again, Talia repeated her question.

The little girl said, "No," again.

Confused, Talia said, "Are you a bad guy?"

"No."

"Well, what are you?" Talia asked.

"I'm a good girl!"

Then Isaiah had told her she needed to believe in Jesus if she wanted to go to heaven.

She said, "I don't want to!"

At this point in his story, I said, "Isaiah, when you are talking to people about Jesus, you need to make sure that you aren't sounding bossy."

"I didn't sound bossy, Mom. I just told her that she needs to make a choice. Because God gives everyone a choice."

It's Just a Little Dirt

Isaiah dirtied his plastic sword outside. When we walked in, I told him to leave it outside. He objected.

I insisted.

He muttered something in exasperation, which I made him repeat so I could hear it. His indignation was apparent.

"Man! Some people think dirty things are unholy!"

I assured him I wasn't mistaking dirt with unholiness.

Jail Break

What animates the mind and body of a man? What secret substance immeasurable to science brings all this meat to life? Why does a well-fed, well-watered, unassaulted human being lie there stiff and cold with no physical thing gone from him -- yet he is gone? A chair does not cease being a chair unless something physical is removed from it. How can a man lie there with every organ intact, every cell still there -- and yet be gone?

Death is an intruder. It gained entrance unlawfully. Well, I can't exactly say 'unlawfully'. Death was let in. Eve traded Life (her birthright) for a meal. And not even a meal, really. Just a snack. A piece of fruit. Like Esau gave his birthright away for a bowl full of porridge. And in Revelation, those who accept the mark of the beast (for the ability to buy and sell food) gamble away eternal life.

And so, a man in full physical capacity, with nothing missing from his body -- no injuries, no blood loss -- nothing at all physically removed from his person -- lies there lacking everything that made him a man. His soul is gone, and his body will not survive the loss. All attempts at resuscitation are just desperate, begging tries at persuading the soul to linger a little longer. The man himself can't often convince his soul to remain with him. It's a wonder that sometimes a stranger's pleas and efforts cause it to stay another hour -- or day -- or month -- or decade. But eventually, Death always claims his prize, and like the Pied Piper, leads away the soul of every man like the children of Hamlin. Where do they go?

Only one man that I know of said, "I have the power to lay my life down. And I have the power to take it up again. No man takes my life from me -- I lay it down of myself."

If you had witnessed his death, you might have been tempted to join the soldiers who mocked him. "If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!"

Or perhaps the criminal dying beside him: "If you are the Christ, save yourself and us!"

For even Elisha, that mighty prophet whose prayer raised the Shunammite's son from the dead, was apparently powerless when Death called him. In spite of the fact that his dead buried bones were power enough to reanimate a dead man thrown into his grave, Elisha could not say of his life, "I have power to lay it down, and power to take it up again."

We might not take seriously the words the man said about his own power while witnessing the massive beating that men inflicted on him. He said no man takes his life from him -- and yet it was men who tore his beard out. It was men who nailed him to a cross and left him there to die.

You might be tempted to say, "Well, it was a nice thought -- pity he didn't really have that power. It seems Death won out in the end. Men did kill him." You might dismiss what he said about death, if it weren't for one more thing. On the third day after His death, He stood alive, speaking and eating with His friends.

In complete defiance of Death's call, He said to Thomas, "Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing."

Apparently, just as He said, the power is His. For if He had the power to take His life up again, it stands to reason that He did, in fact, lay it down of Himself to begin with. And that lends credibility to (or permanently settles) all that He said on the subject.

"Therefore I said to you that you will die in your sins."

"Most assuredly, I say to you, if anyone keeps My word he shall never see death."

"I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

"My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish."

Interesting words from a Man who has power over Death -- a Man who could not be abducted out of life like the rest of us sooner or later are. A Man who can lay His own life down and take it up again of His own free will has some authority to offer me eternal life. I don't have to die in my sins. I can follow Death's conqueror into Life.

"I am the Resurrection and the Life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?"

In another place, He said, "Most assuredly, I say to you, the hour is coming, and now is, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God; and those who hear will live."

In response to this, I quote 1 Corinthians 15:54,55: "Death is swallowed up in victory. O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?" Be gone, foul intruder! Fly away, lurker of corners -- silent salivating watcher -- you uninvited observer at weddings and births! No more jurisdiction here -- your warrant's been revoked. Every man since Adam has answered when you called. You've taken our parents, our children, and our friends. You've robbed us all -- but your reign is ended. Christ conquered you -- do your worst: it cannot stick.

Meditations on Peace

I am not into the peace symbol, mainly because of its association with pot smoking and protests. But I was given a necklace that has 'peace' repeated across its pendant and stamped once on the back. I like the look of the necklace. I've been wearing it the last couple of days, and have found myself lost in meditations on peace. The first one that looped through my mind was just the phrase 'peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ'.

"Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand,
and rejoice in hope of the glory of God."
Romans 5:1

Peace with God?! It overwhelms me. In Christ, the constant state of war with God into which I was born has been made PEACE. God accepts me as a friend because of the position I hold in Christ.

Have you read Ephesians 2 lately? It thrills my soul and brings me to tears.

"For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one,
and has broken down the middle wall of separation,
having abolished in His flesh the enmity... thus making peace,
and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross,
thereby putting to death the enmity.
He came and preached peace to you who were afar off and to those who were near.
For through Him we both have access by one Spirit to the Father."
From Ephesians 2

"Therefore, He had to become like His brothers and sisters so that He could be merciful.
He became like them so that He could serve as a faithful chief priest in God's presence
and make peace with God for their sins."
Heb 2:17

He became like us that He might know our weaknesses, which He has mercy on.

"Peace I leave to you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives I give to you.
Stop letting your heart be troubled, and stop letting it be afraid."
John 14:27

The peace the world gives is always strained. It is enemies held at bay by mutually assured destruction, or by threats of exposure, or by the conventions of society. The peace Jesus gives us with the Father makes us friends of God. I don't fear hostility from friends who love me. They love me. God loves me. He's at peace with me.

"Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing,
that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost."
Rom 15:13

Speaking With Authority

Talia, who cannot read, is very fond of her small Bible, which has no pictures. She opened it up, and said authoritatively, "Let the wicked forsake my way."
She shut the Bible.
Amen.

To Drive Or Not To Drive: That Was The Question.

Yesterday afternoon, we drove to a town about two hours away. I had heard we were going to get hit with a snow storm, and asked Jeff to check the weather report before we committed to going. He checked our report, and cleared us for takeoff. When we were about an hour away from our destination, we started noticing snow. By half an hour before, the blowing and drifting slowed us down to 25 mph. Sections of road with fields around them looked like boiling dry ice, and gave us the sensation of driving on moving clouds. I wished we had time to stop and take pictures for you. It was beautiful, but made me really nervous. Jeff was supposed to teach a Bible study at 7, and it was only 5.

I asked Jeff, "Did you check their report, or just ours?"

"Whoops," he said.

He got done with the study, and afterward we tried to decide whether to crash at our friends' house, or hit the road. I checked the weather report. Hazardous Storm Warning; Travel Advisory; blowing and drifting snow; low visibility; sub-zero temperatures with arctic wind chills... you get the idea. I was in favor of staying till morning, waiting till the roads were cleared and we could see. I hate swirling-snow driving -- especially at night. Jeff wanted to go anyway. We packed up the car.

The snow was falling hard. I said to no one, "This is really stupid." We left after 9. We were taking a route we'd never driven before. I turned on the Magellan, got out my map to orient myself, took a deep breath, and told the kids to be quiet. We slid from side to side getting out of their driveway. We made it onto the road, and made our own tracks. Every once in awhile we saw a faint tracing of tires that had gone before. They disappeared quickly. My anxiety level was high. We don't have a cell phone, and these roads are not exactly in civilization.

The blueberry barrens (only recognizable by their white barrenness, and total lack of trees) are perfect wind corridors. The roads that travel through them can disappear in minutes, even if they have been plowed. Many of these had not been. In addition to the dry ice, moving cloud look I described before, the darkness at that time of night makes the snow that blows just an inch or three over the surface of the road look like dark shadows flitting about like specters. The snow is mesmerizing. It's like flying through space when it's snowing toward you.

About half way through the 45 minute stretch on this road, I thought, "No one knows where we are. If we have an accident, or a flat tire, or just can't find the road to drive on, we're going to die." It was a comfortable thought. Thinking on it, I grew more anxious. Then I thought about Hagar, when she was sent away from Abraham and Sarah, and sat down in the desert to die. She was in a different kind of deadly wilderness, but thinking the same thing as me, no doubt. The Lord showed her a well. The other time she had run away, the Lord had told her to submit to her mistress. She named the place He had spoken to her 'You-are-the-God-who-sees', because she said "Have I also here seen Him who sees me?" So I thought about the God who sees me, and hears my prayers, and I prayed. It wasn't the first or the last prayer. But I was comforted.

The only way we could tell we were still on the road and making progress was by looking at the Magellan. It slowly counted down the miles until the left turn on the next road. Oh-- I should mention that the first road is a steady climb upward. The other is the high road, so to speak. When we turned onto the high road, the Magellan said we had 64 miles until the next turn. It is the major trade route between Maine and Canada. So nighttime driving can always be expected to be with semis, which I also hate. The first one that passed us served as a snow blower for our van. The maelstrom of snow blinded us completely. By the time it settled down and the snow-dust cloud also dissipated, the semi was gone -- completely invisible in front of its rear snow-shield. Jeff grew quieter after that, and slowed down more. Two or three more semis passed us that night, and each time, we pulled over to the right and slowed almost to a stop. I tried to look out the rear window at one that was coming up, and couldn't see it. We turned on the wiper, and realized why.

Looming out of the dark whiteness, we saw the orange lights of semi trucks on the sides of the road, coming up. "What is that?" I asked. Jeff was quiet. We came slowly toward them. Two on the left, pointing up the hill we had just crested, a dump truck behind them, also stopped. And another on the right, on our side, pointing up the hill. We slowly made our way through them with our windows down, just in case anyone wanted to tell us anything. They were partly blocking the road.

"Why were they stopped?" I asked nervously.

"They couldn't make it up the hill." Jeff said, slowing down a little more.

Silas started crying, and a sign for a rest stop came up. I asked Jeff to please stop, if it looked like we'd be able to get back out again. I hoped there was an open bathroom, because I needed one. Two semis were in the snowy lot. We had passed another two or three in a turn-out. Jeff changed Silas, and I happily discovered an open, working bathroom. I thought if we couldn't get back out, we could at least shelter in this bathroom. But we got out. No more semis passed us, because the bottleneck we had driven through protected us. That was a blessing, actually. But it was nerve-wracking to see a little further down the road the lights of what looked like an endless line of semis stopped roadside on the left. I counted, as we drove past, at least fourteen stopped end to end. "They're talking to the ones we passed already, and they'll wait until it's open," Jeff explained to me.

Those 64 miles trickled out, a half mile at a time. At 11:45 our ETA was still 45 minutes out. When we were nearly home, Jeff said, "I'm going to be really sore tomorrow."

"Why?"

"From being tense."

"Well, you can't say I didn't warn you." We laughed.

We got home at 12:30. After hauling in kids and crap (diaper bag, knitting bag, plastic bag of extra clothes, purse the size of a diaper bag, two children's backpacks full of dolls and spy supplies, and various loose junk), I called my sister Bri to let her know we made it. Jeff asked me if I had seen the back end of the car. I shook my head. "You need to go look at it." he said. Puzzled, I walked back outside. The back of the van had no van showing through. It was like a wall of snow. My heart stalled for a second, as I looked where the tail lights should be. Just snow. I don't know if those semis that passed us ever even saw us. It was a sobering thought. I thought again about the God who sees me, and thanked Him again.

Jeff said, "That was really stupid."

"Can we please just stay next time?" I asked. (And next time, I'm checking the weather.)

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
(Isaiah 41:10)

Real Love

Under the influence of floods of warmth and good will, it's easy to look down your nose at older couples who have mellowed, as though their love is less than your flaming attraction.

What is love? Is it flowers and moonlight? Is it declarations on a billboard or a status update? Or is it something else?

Real love comes in tired and reaches out to help. It calls home to keep them from worrying. It doesn't have to put it on a billboard or a status update -- actions show it. Real love learns how to cook. Real love cares more about the loved one's soul than its own wants, desires, and "needs". Real love smiles and assures his wife that the horribly oversalted garlic bread "is fine", even though swallowing it will likely bring on a heart attack. Real love helps you walk stronger -- it doesn't pull you into sin. Real love stays home when going out is more fun. It goes out even though it would rather stay home. It sits through a football game though it HATES football, because he likes it. Real love turns off the game to give her the time she needs.

Bedwetters in the House of God

We have a persistent bedwetter in our house. Having been a bedwetter myself, I sympathize with her. She tried and tried not to wet the bed, but usually failed. She was so excited about nights she made it through, and so disappointed on nights she didn't. Wanting to see our girl succeed at what she attempted, Jeff and I took on ourselves the responsibility of bringing her to the bathroom around midnight every night. She doesn't even know we get her up most nights. Sometimes she'll say in the morning, "Mom, I didn't go to the bathroom last night, and I didn't wet the bed!" I smile, because I know her dad brought her to the bathroom, and without his help, she fails every time.

Several months ago, after she'd had a dry night (with our help), I realized that God's heart towards His children is that they succeed. He offers us the help we need because we are too immature to do it on our own. He finds joy in our joy at reaching a milestone -- even though it was His work that got us there. I don't know why one child at the age of two or three stays dry all night, and another is still wetting the bed at twelve. But I know both are loved by their father. And they both seem to mature eventually.

"We are afraid to take God as our tender Father. We think of Him as a schoolmaster or an inspector, who knows nothing about us except through our lessons.

"Now open the ears of your heart, timid child of God! We aren't supposed to learn to be holy as a hard lesson at school so we can make God think well of us. We are to learn it at home with the Father to help us. God loves you not because you are clever or good, but because He is your Father. The Cross of Christ does not make God love us. It is the outcome of His love to us. He loves all His children: the clumsiest, the dullest, and the worst...

"Think about how He knows us personally, as individuals with all our peculiarities, our weaknesses, and our difficulties. The master judges by the result, but our Father judges by the effort. Failure doesn't always mean fault. He knows how much things cost and weighs them carefully where others wouldn't... His great love understands the poor beginnings of His little ones, clumsy and simple as they may seem to others."
(Andrew Murray, With Christ in the School of Prayer)


A prayer: You who ask us to help others with their burdens cannot leave us to toil under ours alone. My responsibilities are too great for me to bear. Help me.

A Conversation

"How fat is God?" Talia asked Elisa.

Elisa's patience was thin. "Talia! I haven't seen Him! I don't know!"